Hi Chums, every year around this time, I post up my comic book drown review of the year. Something I’ve done, somehow for around 12-13 years or so. So here’s this years one.
Some notes: Nathan is in a grammer. He’s really thriving in it. If you’ve followed my blog for some time you may know that Nathan thriving in school seemed unheard of, but thrive he is. Tom is enjoying school (but not homework). And everything home related is going pretty well. Annette went back to school to study something sciencey (a thing she’s never previously done, so big culture shock and new challenges for her) and I went and did some acting, after a 20 year gap. And I really really loved it. So more auditions this year, I think.
Workwise, it was a funny year – I drew less than last year, in the region of 189 pages, but doing Dark Horse work and the post brexit pound plummet meant I did ok this year. All in better than any previous year. Self employment is a funny old game though, and the tax repercussions of a single good year followed by a bad year can actually be pretty severe, so careful careful going forward.
New years resolutions this year: less twitter more drawing. Less twitter more blogging. Less twitter more work.
I mean, obviously I don’t mean that – I’m sort of hopelessly addicted to twitter, but I can’t help feeling it’s not healthy. Certainly this year on twitter felt like it wasn’t. Maybe it’s the current political climate, maybe it’s the nature of any platform that expands to the size twitter has. Who knows. In any case, it feels like a boil that needs lancing in some way.
Anyhue, hopefully 2017 turns out to be the karmic rebalancing that 2016 feels like it needs. In which case we can all expect to wake up knowing the next lottery numbers. Good luck!
Hey! My good pal, Rob Williams, writer of stuff forwarded on a young artists portfolio – Brian Corcoran – a Dredd story he’d drawn from one of Rob’s scripts.
I spent a little time and dug through the art commenting on it over the next few days. Brian kindly agreed to let me share our conversation about the art, hopefully you’ll enjoy this too. I’ve tried to edit the entire correspondence down to just things that I think other people may learn something from, so in case it’s not clear, Brian’s generosity in accepting this critique allowed me to be this thorough (and I’ve had similar done to me so I know ho much this stuff can sting!)
Let’s start with Brian’s full art and the script. (the script in question is Judge Dredd FIT). I want to stress: I haven’t read the script. My suggestions here are purely for the story telling in the artwork as I see it. My choices might be different if I’d been reading the script.
Our email’s started with my amendments to page 1.
[..] only had a chance to glance over some of it, but I broadly agree with Rob [… about pulling the viewpoint back as I tend to have a lot of close-ups]- you want to pull out and give the page panels room to breath. I think it’s a pretty common thing to try and fill a panel with things so there’s as little dead space as possible, but the dead space is pretty important, both for space for dialogue but also for not making it feel cramped (except, of course, when you want a reader to feel cramped). (Have you read the 2000AD artists 10 commandments, I treated them like gospel for years… top left 25% of a panel should be dead space…)
I’ve tweaked the first page, I’ll talk you through my choices – which won’t be everyone’s choices, so don’t worry if you disagree, I’m sure plenty would!
Ok, panel 1 – it’s a big close up of Dredd, so let’s make it a big close up of Dredd.
Also added a little bit of black behind the other judges so they don’t get lost. I realise this goes against what I’ve said about pulling out – but I think one key thing you’re also missing is a rhythm – it’s midshot after midshot (or at least not terribly big distances between midshots) but you want close up, distance, midshot, midshot, close up, etc (or any sort of rhythm, really – it’s like a drum beat, a repetitive tap tap tap quickly bores you, and you want something that will keep the reader interested).
Panel 2, Pulled out a little more and whited out a lot of details (though I didn’t have a high res scan to work from so it’s all a bit vague! sorry!) I suspect I’d’ve pulled that out further and had someone silhouetted in front of the floating figure to frame it. Giving a little more context and interest.
Panel 3 pulled out a big chunk, and added some bg. This whole scene really needs a back ground – I don’t think the pure black background in this scene is really helping to sell it. I’d’ve been tempted to try and get a panel with both judges in it, to give a reader a context for them together – though the file he hands over does this job too.
Panel 4 added some bg.
Panel 5 – I dropped the dutch angle, didn’t think it was doing anything useful here aside from making it look a little off kilter.
Panel 6 – I’ve silhouetted dredd’s always identifiable chin. My preference here, but it feels like it reads a bit better.
(I’ve edited out some kind remarks and tried to keep it as succinct as possible)
The page looks so much better, totally agree on everything, especially the inclusion of the backgrounds and the Dutch angle removal. I took Rob’s script too literally, I think – he said the office was ‘darkened’, so I went straight to black backgrounds without taking the time to think about what interest a ‘darkened office’ could bring to backgrounds. It’s all so much less static now. The silhouette in the last panel is inspired.
Rob’s script called for the presence of the shocked technician in Panel 1, but his omission in favour of a more ‘present’ close-up Dredd works wonders. There’s a point there, I suppose, about maybe not always slavishly following scripts to the letter?
To be fair, I’m working without script and just with the page as you’ve drawn it, so I’m cutting/pasting/shrinking enlarging. Rob’s scripts are usually pretty good at calling out stuff that’s useful – I suspect that panel one, while impactful may get a little note from Tharg saying “Where’s the technician”.
(That said, it wouldn’t have been hard to move the technician up and nearer the bikes looking around to Dredd, framed by that smoke coming off him)
I’ve pulled out the 2000AD drawing commandments and stuck them on the wall, thanks for the heads up. Love what you have to say about the drum beat, makes so much sense.
The next day I sent an edited version of page 2, along with comments:
Looking at page 2 here and I’m struggling to know what’s going on in Panel 1 – is it a flashback? did it just happen? Needs to be clearer. I’ll assume it’s a flash back.
I’ve dropped the overlapping hand in behind the panel, which I think i more effective for a story telling pov and sells it a little better as a flashback.
Panel 2, I’m afraid I dropped the top down panel – normally those kind of panels have one strength and that’s to give you a clear sense of location, but here I think it’s actually obscuring the location – I THINK (but am not sure) Dredd is at a locker? Assuming that’s the case, I’ve redrawn it with Dredd and the other judge and the lockers more clearly in view. (I could be wrong; haven’t read the script! so that applies to all of these things. Acutally as a good rule of thumb, I always tell people to ask their partner – who often isn’t a comic reader – to explain to them what they think is happening in a story without the script or lettering, if the partner can tell them boom! Solid storytelling. If they’re confused then you need to think about how to improve that).
Panel 3 – more breathing space. Love this panel, but you’ve obscured the other judges face partially behind a panel (in fact you habitually crop figures out of panels, which is ok, but feels like it’s happening too much and rarely happening deliberately…)
Panel 4.. Ok I’ve futzed around a lot on this. Initially couldn’t see dredd and giant(?) on the bikes, and I think that’s because there’s so many lines on the panel it’s hard for the eye to find anything (that and it’s low res, which is killer!). So I added a ton of shadows to all the vehicles hopefully to direct your eye. Also brought the SJS judge more into the FG – made him a little larger and moved him so he’s not cropped out of shot. (I’ve also moved giant a little so he’s less cropped – I’d be inclined to make sure you have a super clear view of giant and dredd on bikes, even if giant’s bike is behind dredd’s bike a little you want to make sure nothing else is overlapping them)
Panel 5 I redrew. It wasn’t selling this was dredd on his bike. Repositioning the camera below and up, gets dredd in, and a big vehicle. But I’m not sold on that either. Suspect if I was drawing this properly I’d’ve gone for a silhoutte of Dredd looking right, with speed lines behind him (maybe half his figure in the “riding a bike stance”)
Panel 6 – I like this, but it feels little cramped, which, I’ve cured, ironically by making him much larger, which has the nice side effect of really framing those scared people under his left arm.
I don’t want you to feel like these are “I’m right, you’re wrong” – it’s all “this is what I might do” give it to a hundred other artists and you might get a hundred different interpretations. Also I’m trying as much as possible to do stuff by just moving things around and adding shadows, from scratch I might make different/similar choices.
(Brian obviously responded to this with generosity, but it doesn’t add much to our discussion here so I’ve cut it for brevity)
On the third day, there was a third page, luckily it was page three, and I sent:
And said [and please forgive the typos and other errors):
It’s your daily page!
Page ..3 ? (losing track)
Ok, the edits here show up a little more of my own preferences and idiosyncrasies, they’re solutions I often draw on when I need to solve similar problems – but as always they don’t mark the right answers, just my answers.
I’ve extended the panel off the top of the page (bleeding it out helps to lead the eye down and in to that panel)
I’ve also added more black /shadows – your rendering of the uniform is pretty consisitent regardless of the lighting, and it’s become sort of habitual – good idea is to look at some black tight leather (you’re own your own their for google searches…!) to get a feel for different ways light play on it. Ultimately, dredd’s uniform is a futuristic material so can work/light however you want, but it’s good to get some more ideas in your head for how it might look rather than just other comic artists.
Panel 2 – shifted Dredd over – no need to crop that eagle.
Added soem shadow over the perp’s face – added shadow all over the place (esp on the gun) to hep control the flow of the read, feels more focused – your lighting is too uniform and you want to let the black help you with the story telling – the shadow on the perp’s face does two things: it heightens the drama and it splits the action in to two bits – bit one dredd shooting, bit two explosion off the backpack.
Shadowed up the SJS – sinister SJS judge looks more sinister. Also removed some wall as it was serving no useful purpose (except to separate sjs from dredd, and the does that job)
Panel 4: enlarged dredd, straightened him up a bit. Now his shoulder frames the SJS judge and the distance between them looks greater, better drama.
Panel 5: Futsed around with the shadow, moved head down to stop him overlapping hershey, so you can see her hands (if you can do it, separate figures and make them readable in silhouette form)
Enlared the 2 headed bloke, more drama. Put Dredd’s face in shadow, more drama and more cleanly separates Dredd from the background peeps. You want to cleanly have foreground/middleground/background (at the very least)
This is brilliant. Lighting and shadow are a particular issue for me definitely and I tend to be nervous around applying loads of black even though it always looks better when I do! This’ll steel my resolve to get more shadow on them thar drawin’s! The shadow applied to the perp’s face is fantastic as a device, I always thought the exploding backpack was quite lost in this panel, your trick has totally changed that. Likewise the introduced distinction in the last panel between back/mid/ foreground.
It’s amazing how improved Panel 5 is now with your changes, (well, really how improved they all are!) such a small simple panel now has so much more interest and depth.
This will get confusing, so sorry about that, but I muddled up my pages here and did a page review of page four thinking it was page five. So, in the interests of clarity, I’m going to present page four here (in the correct order)
So, page four:
And my notes:
Apologies for the scrappiness of this redo. But here we go:
Panel 1: more breathing space! pulled out (Hershey should probably be higher in this panel, but sod it) needs room to breath.
Panel3: pull out and up so we can get a decent view of where dredd is, also gave him a little movement and old lady so,e body language. All pushing us towards the door.
Panel 4: I think a straight on exploding door shot is possibly the dullest on possible, it Works in film because they have movement, but you’ve got to suggest movement through camera angle, s/fx and speed lines.
Panel 5: dredd silhouette more menacing, tense. Old lady behind dredd, worried.
Panel 6: push the foreground/background. But harder. Kept the gun in shot, helps sell the story telling panel to panel…
As always, everything you’ve done is really instructive. As I’ve said before, it’s real wood for the trees stuff for me, I keep asking myself why didn’t I think of this or that. The pull-out of Panel 3 to set the scene for example. Love the added tension in panel 5 by silhouetting Dredd, never thought of including the old lady! Panel 6 is looking way better, and way more dramatic for the difference in foreground/ background. Loving the addition of the gun for better connection from the last panel.
Ok, page five, having skipped page four by accident I remained a little confused by page 5 – though I think the notes are still pretty useful…
Getting near the end!
I found this page a little confusing, as a result I’ve probably done more redrawing than I’d normally do, but here we go:
I pulled out. You can do a headshot without getting right up in dredd’s chin (and gives room for any dialogue)
Panel two. I’ve moved in closer, confusing jumble of hands, more interesting if it’s even more confusing jumble of hands
Panel three: pulled out more (though I’ve no context here, beyond I’m assuming dredd is reacting to this, I’d’ve been tempted to add Dredd in the bg looking at this.
Added more depth to this panel making the guy changing the positions slightly to make the guy on the right appear to be closer to us and turning to talk to the other guy, silhouetted most of the people behind them – they’re not important, lose them, but keep them readable. Adding figures between those guys and dredd – more depth – should be kept simple, lots of shadow, not much details. Dredd silhouette at doorway (dredd has a strong silhouette, albeit identical to most other judges but readers have been trained to assume any big judge silhouette is dredd – use that!) Also add some more distinguishing costume features to these dudes to help the next panels read better.
Closer in (I was confused about which of these guys were getting their head dunked, but seems like it would be the one closer to dredd – the baldy one, so I’ve made it more obvious here by using the costume additions)
Had to edit this guy to make him look like the other guy. Got more dredd in. Where there’s no panel border, and on thing bleeding into another, you end up with weird things like that guys hand in panel five appearing to pop out of dredd’s helmet.
TBH though, I’d rethink that panel, the SJS judge feels like a static cutout, maybe rethink this to have it from the POV of the SJS judge, so we’re seeing the back of his head as dredd mets out the old ultraviolence. I suspect that’s the intent here rather that Dredd smacks dude in face.
Brian responds, rightly questioning my sanity:
You skipped Page 4 I’m afraid! Unless I missed an e-mail? [no, you didn’t Brian, it turns out I’m a thicko]
No worries but maybe that’s part of the confusion? Dredd discovers a room full of starved slaves on page 4 and the 1st panel of this page is his reaction to that. I followed Rob’s script directions fairly closely for panels 1 & 2. I’ve attached the script – I should have sent it to you at the start – apologies!
Panel 4 works a lot better for sure, love the use of big recognisable silhouette on Dredd! One thing, this scene takes place outside – obviously another failing of my panel was not to make that clear enough. Totally get what you’re saying re costume elements.
You’re right, it is the bald guy getting mashed by Dredd into the table in panel 5, obviously I’m not making the info in these panels clear enough! I prefer it as you’ve drawn it, closer in, but I suppose I drew it like that with burger and drink flying to indicate it was him, and to show his companion to his left reeling back as Dredd did his thing.
Totally get what you’re saying in panel 6 about the hand coming out of Dredd’s head! Looks so much better showing him the way you have. Btw the guy in Panel 6 getting the punch is the same guy as in panel 5, hence the bald head and facial tattoo (direction from Rob’s script). I have to say this is a real wood for the trees moment for me, as I think you’re totally right about maybe showing it from the POV of the SJS judge. It would work so much better. Again, I took direction from Rob’s script here, which called for the SJS judge to be at a distance down the street. This is probably one of those moments where a more experienced artist might have queried the writer’s choice of set-up maybe?
And the last page. As I may have noted, I didn’t read the script. These notes were all based on the actual artwork. My standard advice to someone is to ask their partner whether they can understand what’s going on in a drawn page or not – if they can’t then it’s a confusing page, if they can then the storytelling is good. You shouldn’t need the script. That said, I wasn’t sure what emotion Brian was trying to sell on the last page, so I did two versions:
Version 1, using his artwork, and version 2 with a redrawn last panel to help sell what I thought he was trying to do.
Ok, let’s pull WAAAY out and show everything, this is our last best chance to give these two a decent establishing shot…
Framing them with the buildings etc. Once you’ve done a good establishing shot you earn the right to show some shots without background – you earned TWO panels like that with that background 🙂
I pushed and pulled thee last three panels, largely to give them something beyond a tap tap tap rhythm – so I moved in slightly closer here (added a background)
Brought him closer, add lots of shadow and now he can frame Hershy as he walks away.
Dropped the panel background altogether, and turned the angle to make it more interesting (contrapposta-italian phrase meaning counter pose, general a twist in a figure so that they’re more interesting. she needs to look off panel, so I flipped the figure and badly mangled her eyes to do so. Dropped the background too.
With final pages of a strip there’s a certain structure it feels (to me) that they need, this is nearly there, but not quite, not sure what’s missing, I’ve done an alternative last panel here, though I suspect I’d need to read the script to see what emotion I’m pulling for.
Ah, the establishing shot! Sets a much better tone for the overall page. The large background kind of creates a quietness or something as well I think. I have to say I think I’d change panels 2 & 3 now too, looking at your revised Panel 1, they just don’t do it for me any more! They look too static I think, especially panel 3.
I’m looking here at my drawing of Gerhart in panel 5 versus your shaded up-closer version, and I can’t help kicking myself! I have obviously been so tentative, so concerned with just getting the characters and detail into the panels rather than taking it farther and introducing the added drama and rhythm necessary to tell a good story. I tell you PJ, this experience has had a major effect on how I’ll draw my comics from here on in.
On what you said about structure of the final page, I have the same feeling, I was never too happy with this page, even in the pre-PJ edit days! It is so much better now after your edits, but I agree, there’s still something left to do. Rob’s script says: “As Gerhart leaves, Hershey stands alone in her office, the darkness surrounding her.” In my opinion I think your alternate final panel nails that – I love the shadow on Hershey’s face, her face looking slightly downwards; there’s “a picture worth a thousand words” if ever I saw one!
And… that’s it!
Not having read the original script, I maybe pushed and pulled in the wrong direction on some of the suggestions above, but I think – I hope – the advice is applicable beyond this story. Hopefully others will get something from it too.
Thanks to Rob Williams – his website is here– for his script and permission to put this online, and to Brian Corcoran – his website his here – for the good grace he showed in me tearing through his art.
La Placa Rifa.
(On a side note, my friend Stewart who passed away over the weekend was always so generous with his time for those that wanted to become writers/artists, and while he was never a pro in the comics industry, it pleases me to think that this would be the sort of thing he’d be happy to see happening)
Here’s a three page wolverine sample I’ve done to add some pep to my portfolio for the London Super Con which I’ll be at this weekend (Saturday I’ll be milling about Warwick Johnston Cadwell’s table, as he’s there on Sunday) and I’m sure I’ll make an appearance at the 2000Ad booth.
I’m hoping these look good, I think if I had more time I’d finesse the backgrounds, but, with a bit of luck and a following wind the energy on the page will carry them. It’s not an ideal form of sample, in a perfect world I’d have six pages – two or three would be people walking and talking rather than just balls-out action, but I’ll put some other stuff in the portfolio and see where it takes me. My intention is to do a monthly set of samples like this and throw them to the big two and see what happens.
I’ve sent these off to some friends whose opinions I value, to see if I can’t improve them but I really have limited time (heading off to London early tomorrow) so hopefully nothing radical will come from it (though if it does, I’ll pin it and figure out where I went wrong).
Oh, if you want to see the process of making page one of this sample, I storified a whole bunch of twitter posts I did as I did it, you can read that here:
Last year I made some promises to myself, on keeping it all analogue – this all fell through a bit, I ended up drawing bunch of pages digitally. This year I’m trying again. Derailed a bit late in to the year by the arrival of a 27″ cintiq. An amazing tool which sort of subsumed all of my analogue drawing into it (literally taking over my drawing table). But I’ve cleared space and put it in a corner leaving my drawing table free.
I’ve some Dredd lined up this month and next, a backup strip for mythic and… well, that’s it. Things usually crop up. It would be nice this year if I could finally get more than just the occasional toe back in to the US market, though if I spend all year drawing stuff for the Galaxy’s Greatest Comic that would be fine too.
My system for working worked quite well, refined a little over the course of the year and I’ll be sticking to it. Hopefully there’ll be no serious injuries (or either me or my family) to upset the apple cart (though this is the year Nathan enters Secondary School, a big transition year for him and especially tough for kids with ASD as he does).
Going to try and detox the studio of all visual stuff, no watching tv when working (when I’m in full flow I CAN watch tv while working, but until I get to full flow there’s a real danger of me just sitting gawking at the tellybox and not actually drawing a damn thing).
So to put those resolutions in to some sort of simplified order:
All analogue drawing this year. Get better with the tools of the trade.
I love one page stories. They hold a special place in my heart. You can draw an entire story in one day and within that story is an entire universe, you can go as crazy as you like, experiment how you fancy. It’s 2000AD’s future shock format compressed into an even smaller place.
Here’s the one pager I did, written by Corey Fryia and lettered by Micah Myer.
Hope you liked it, now the background!
On twitter, someone I didn’t know – Corey Fryia, was RTd looking for an artist for a single pager. I had an itch, and there was the scratch. I’m sure I was as unfamiliar to Corey as he was to me.
Anyway, I volunteered, Corey sent me a script, and, in the worst way imaginable I drew what I wanted, script be damned! (hey it was one page! and he said it was ok!). The original script was didn’t specify that the firing squad where basically various pixar characters (that was me) and wasn’t even about a Clone. That was me too (though I may have brow beat Corey with that one).
Unheard of, for me, I even dropped a panel in the script – largely because I wanted to draw less panels and it felt superfluous (panel 3 here was originally two panels, one with the commander saying fire and the next with people firing).
I’m pretty happy with my story telling in the strip – I think it’s pretty readable sans dialogue (a good measure!) happy with some of the faces and some of the colouring. It still feels too laboured on the colouring front – too heavy in some way. No idea why or how to fix it (maybe I need to not colour so much – maybe make the texture more subtle?). The final panel doesn’t work as well as it could – to be honest, it’s not well enough drawn which is a shame as the twist turns on it a little. I think I could draw it as well as it needs but it’d take probably as long as the entire page – maintaining a likeness at those angles is tough and would require lots of planning
Still those caveats aside, fun to do, and on to the next thing!
I pencilled this drawing an age ago, finally got around to inking then colouring. My first pass at colouring was done on procreate on the ipad, but I have some terrible habitual problems with procreate – an over reliance on the same brush tools being the main one, which fools me into thinking I’ve done something really nice, but it does tend to give everything the same texture. I have the same problems in Manga Studio, but I’m more willing to forgive myself (probably because the resolution is so much higher).
I was commissioned by Adam Crossingham to do a cover for Sixtystone Press‘s WWII RPG game “Investigator Weapons: World War 2” (which, unless I’m mistaken, promises WWII action and Cthulu style monsters), the book should be out early next year, but you can see the cover now…
(some notes: traditional pencils, with digital inking in Manga Studio 5EX – colours also in MS5EX)
I know, I know. I’ve missed a few. Ah ha! Got ya! I’ve been drawing but not scanning, so here’s a catchup –
(ok, there’s still a few missing, whatcha gonna do!)
If you like to buy any of these, hit me up in the comments (or the contact me page) £50 for any of them, £60 for killer croc (spot colour) and £60 for MODOK (spot colour – they both have a red ink spot colour, but I’ve rejigged the colours here for variety)