Here’s the second page.
I rarely go against the script, and anytime I do I find that either I’ve misread the script OR I’m just not good enough to do what the script is asking.
Panel 1 was a savagly difficult panel to get right – dragging a drugged individual into a car is probably something that looks half comical, and that’s not what was required.
Panel 2 was supposed to be a closeup of Bruce’s head, drugged and bowed, but it meant that, aside from the first and last panel every panel was going to be the back of someone’s head. So I went for a dramatic closeup of the bad guy here, and bruce in the bg.
Then we cut to
Panel 3 from Bruce’s POV, hence the skewed pencils. Normally I skew the inks and leave the pencils, but since I’m doing the pencils at the end, I wanted to see how this looked. I’m pleased with the clever* fix to the problem of showing the back of someone’s head as they smile (check the mirror).
(*two clever things: one I dropped a white van into this panel, and a red light – now skewed off the page, to give a reason to stop the car and the mirror with smiling driver – but I’d be amazed if this isn’t exactly what was done by the original artist)
Panel 4 Strange monkey hands grab the bad guy.
Panel 5 Other strange monkey man type guy grabs him into the back (in the script this is described as so abstract it may be impossible to tell what’s going on).
Panel 6 leering face of the new bad guy, distorted by Bruce’s drugged up state.
I’m happy with the rhythm here, mid-shoot, closeup, reverse shot (panel 3 : this by the way, is a breaking of the 180deg rule, a rule that is pretty much essential in clean story telling, but totally breakable when you want to change the pull a surprise on the reader) the next two shots are a little too similar, but the weirded druggy haze may be saving me. Then creepy close up.
It’s not a clever-clever layout, but it works.
Incidentally, I started this yesterday after finishing the first page. Then abandoned it this morning and chipped away at it all day while looking after the kids. I am heroic in my dedication to unpaid sample work…
(Oh couple of notes: panel 1 is still a little goofy looking to my eyes, not quiet in the merry marvel manner – so I’ll fix that.. somehow… and the panel borders with the drugged out sequence may get a little rougher or disappear altogether…)