PAGE NINE

Okay, I think this is a six panel page, but I’m going to leave the exact beats up to you, PJ. I know what the first and last panels should be, but between them, I think I may as well let you see what you think works best.

Panel One

Here we’re outside in the garden, directly behind the hairy creature we’ve just glimpsed through the window. We can see the back of the creature’s head and shoulders and can see Biko’s window ahead and above us / it. The creature is turning its head to one side, so that we can see (a bit of) its profile. It is sniffing the air as if it’s smelled something interesting. You could even do a “Bisto” smell trail, if you think that would work (or not).

One FX.

FX: snff-snff

Panels Two to Five(?)

So, what’s going on here is that our hairy friend has smelled some open snacks which have been left in Biko’s tree-house, which doubles as MACS HQ. Without ever showing the creature fully (definitely not its full face), but showing shots of its hands, feet, etc, I want us to follow its short journey up into the tree-house, sniffing all the way. Shots of the sniffing nose, maybe? Hands and/or feet on the ladder up to the tree-house. The top of the hairy head pushing up through the trapdoor in the floor of the tree-house. I think that what the creature is smelling is a big open bag of Tayto crisps, which we can maybe see in the foreground as the head appears inside the tree-house. Thinking of the ET eating M&Ms riff, but using crisps, basically.  We might even risk a “Yum” from our creature?

Final Panel

We the hairy creature’s foot / ankle is tripping a laser tripwire as they grab the big bag of crisps. I think all we need to do is show the two terminals (or whatever you’d call them) which face each other, rather than an actual laser beam (unless you think a beam being broken would work better visually). Google kids Spy tripwire alarm, and you’ll see what there are loads of them. A little LED on one of the terminals is glowing red, and making a tiny “bip” type noise.

PAGE TEN

Again, I think this is six(ish) panels, but the exact beats are up to you. Dialogue isn’t set in stone if you don’t think there’s room for all of it in the composition you go for.

First Panel

This panel shows the a small light bulb lighting up in the darkness of Biko’s bedroom. I think its probably part of an electronics kits that he’s built himself, so it might be like a breadboard type thing. There’s a handwritten label taped to the contraption which reads INTRUDER ALERT.

Now whether, you want to just show this detail as a panel of its own and then “pull back” to show Biko wakened by the light and the noise, and looking towards the light, is up to you. But that’s what happens; the light and the sound wake Biko and he looks towards the light in shock.

There is one FX from the alarm (not too big / loud) and Biko has two balloons.

FX: bzzz bzzz bzzz

Biko: What the heck…?

Biko: Someone’s in the tree-house!

Panels Three(?) to Five(?)

Okay, we want to get Biko and Fort outside so that Biko can climb up and investigate who is in the tree-house. I don’t know if a straight cut to Biko pushing open the back door of the house works? He has a torch in one hand, the beam cutting through the darkness, but is barefoot in his pyjamas.

Maybe we show him climbing the ladder so that we’re looking down at him, and we can see Fort on the ground below looking up at him/us?

He could have a couple of whispered balloons here.

Biko: Li? Evie?

Biko: Is that you?

Then maybe a panel of the interior of the tree-house, with a bit of our hairy visitor in the foreground all in silhouette, busily munching crisps. Biko is pushing the door of the tree-house open and entering towards us, the beam of his torch not yet on the hairy fella.

Biko: We didn’t say anything about a midnight…

FX: munch crunch munch

Final Panel

This is a reaction shot of Biko’s face (head/shoulders) as his torch finally illuminates the visitor properly. He looks shocked and stunned.

He has one balloon (and maybe the munching continues?)

Biko: …feast…?

GASP! What has Biko found!

You’ll have to wait until after Christmas, I’m afraid – what a cliff hanger…

Thanks for sticking with us through this, the most terrible of years, been enormous fun doing both the folklore comics and moving over to do Monster Macs – every page feels like we’re doing our own saturday morning kids adventure movie and we’re running for an entire year!

Happy xmas all!

Yay! Finally, our hairy friend shows up…  the strong scent of Southern Tayto Crisps (no doubt a special import by Biko’s dad) has enticed him out … 

All the pages in this chapter are in spreads (Eight & Nine, Ten & Eleven, etc)

PAGE EIGHT

This is a seven-panel page, with three tiers; two panels on the top, three across the middle, and two on the bottom. This page is all about under-lighting and side-lighting, I think; the glow of computer screens in darkened bedrooms.

Panel One

This is a shot (fairly close) shot of a zombie in a Fortnite style computer game getting blasted with a weapon. I think it’s a First Person game, like Doom though. Pixelated green blood is splattering out at us.

There is one FX from the blast, and one balloon from off.

FX: BLAMM

Balloon: Die, monster! Die!

Panel Two

We’ve pulled out so that we can see that we’re in Li’s bedroom and he’s playing on his Switch type console. He has a controller in his hands and the Switch is either in its dock so he’s playing on a TV screen, or else he has the little screen propped up somewhere. It’s night now. We can see the starry sky out of a window in the room. Li is wearing pyjamas and is wrapped in his duvet, sitting on or next to his bed. He’s wearing headphones with a mic and is talking as he plays.

Li has two balloons and there are two tailless broadcast balloons showing what he’s hearing in his headphones.

Li: Did you guys seethat?

Balloon 1: Huh? Oh sorry, Li…

Li: Are you even watching?

Balloon 2: I was looking at this thing Fort dropped.

Panel Three

Here we can see Biko in his own darkened bedroom (probably head and shoulders). He’s also wearing a pair of gaming headphones with a mic. He’s holding the whistle in one hand, examining it closely. He’s looking a bit shocked and insulted by what he’s hearing over his headphones.

Biko has two balloons, and there is one tailless broadcast balloon.

Biko:  I reallythink it might be a proper archaeological artefact.  Maybe a–

Balloon (interrupting): *SNORE*

Biko: Hey, there’s no need to be like that!

Panel Four

This is a shot of Evie (head and shoulders again) fast asleep. The headphones she’s been wearing knocked askew. She’s in (or on) her bed. Maybe side-lit by the computer / Switch screen somewhere off panel (or maybe we can see a bit of the Switch on the bed next to her.

There are two tailless broadcast balloons, and one FX from Evie.

Balloon 1: That wasn’t me! I think Evie’s fallen asleep on us again.

Evie: *SNORE*

Balloon 2: Hang on, I’ll mute her.

Panel Five

This is a shot looking past Biko towards his bedroom door. His mum is leaning into the room, holding the door open a crack, and talking to him.

Biko’s mum has one balloon, Biko one, one tailless broadcast.

Mum: Time for bed now, Biko. Say goodnight.

Biko: Oh, I’m going to have to go, Li.

Balloon: Okay, see you tomorrow!

Panel Six

Here we have a wider shot of Biko’s bedroom (more or less from his mum’s POV, I think – she might even be in shot slightly?). Fort needs to be in there snuggled up either on the bottom bed, taking up most of the room, or else maybe in a dog basket under a desk. It either case, in the centre of the panel we have Biko’s bedroom window, which we know faces out on to the garden which borders on to the woods. His curtains are not quite shut, and we can see a bit of of the woods and garden through the gap on them. Standing, looking up at the window, is the same creature with shining eyes we saw on Page Seven. It’s really small here (maybe not even possible to see), but we’re zooming in on the next panel. Biko is putting his headphones on the desk, and heading towards his bed. He’s smiling towards us / his mum.

I think the chapter title goes across the bottom of this (and maybe the next?) panel. But it’s up to you where you think it fits best.

He has one balloon, and she has one in reply.

Biko: Night, mum.

Mum: Night night, son.

Panel Seven

Here we’ve zoomed in on the gap in the curtains so that we can see the mysterious hairy creature looking up at us (thinking of this as very Moomins with the Groke).

There is one balloon from Biko’s mum, off panel.

Mum (off): Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

As a parent of young kids, I feel this page deep in my soul. (And when I was a kid, with a house full of brothers, I recognise the same warm cozy playing and chatting and bedtime)

PAGE SIX & SEVEN

Okay, this is a two page spread which actually spans both pages.

I know what the first panel is, and what I think the last two should be, but I’m going to leave the rest to you in terms of how you want to break the whole thing up and show it.

Panel One

This is a close shot of the whistle / ocarina being blown hard by Biko (maybe just his nose / lips / cheek in shot? Up to you). The whistle is producing a note which we want to show like a radiating sound wave / ripple. Like a )))) type of thing. Or some other way, if you can think of something better. This sound is going to grow and spread out from this first panel and stop before the penultimate panel.

Panels X to X

So, the idea here is that we see the sound wave spread out from the whistle, past Biko’s house, through the woods which lay beyond. We see squirrels, birds, and other wildlife pricking their ears up and looking alert as the sound passes them.

We see a hidden hollow deep within the woods, screened off by decades of fallen branches, tangled brambles and ivy. It’s half filled with leaves and mulch which have blown and drifted in there over the years. From under the leaves, something hairy arises. Don’t know if you want to do the traditional zombie shot with a hand emerging first, or a slow emerging of the head and shoulders from out of the leaves as our hairy friend awakes. We don’t want to do a full reveal of the character yet, but this is a shocking, exciting glimpse. Maybe they’re mostly in shadow, and their eyes are glinting in the waning light? I’m imagining it as quite Swamp Thing shot (the whole sequence really).

Penultimate Panel

This is a shot of Biko who has now stopped blowing the whistle and is looking at it critically, holding it up in one hand.

He has two balloons.

Biko: Not a peep.

Biko: Must be broken.

Final Panel

This is a shot from a low angle with Fort in the foreground and Biko opening the front door of his house to enter in the mid-ground. If there’s room, we can see past the house a little so that we can see how close the woodland is. Fort is looking up quizzically, as if he can sense that something is on its way.

Biko has two balloons.

Biko: Mum! I’m home!

Biko: A Bigfoot fell on Evie’s dad!

End of Chapter One.

Running a bit late! Thanks for sticking with us!

-pj

PAGE FOUR

This page is the first of a spread with Page Five.

This is a six panel page. Exact layout is up to you, but I think Panel Six is a tier-wide shallow panel at the bottom of the page.

Panel One

This is a panel all filled with dust and dirt which has come off the toppled model when it has landed. We can see the faces of Li and Evie in amongst the dust and dirt (which might spill out over the panel borders a bit). They look worried and confused, their eyes shut against the dirt and maybe a hand thrown up to try to cover their faces.

They each have one balloon and there are a couple of FX.

FX: coff-coff

Li: Holy Cow! The dust off that thing!

FX: coff-coff

Evie: Is everyone okay?

Panel Two

Here the dust is clearing and we can see that Evie’s dad is lying on the floor, pinned under the Bigfoot model, the back of which looks a lot more threadbare than the front. His face is covered in dust and he looks really uncomfortable.

There are two FX and three balloons from Evie’s dad.

FX: coff-coff

Dad: I… I’m fine.

FX: coff-coff

Dad: It’s not as heavy as it looks.

Dad: Not quite.

Panel Three

This is a shot of Fort snuffling round in what remains of the box (the dust still settling). We can see that it contained some papers and odds and ends, but the dog is picking up what looks like a small ocarina type ceramic (or bone?) flute in its mouth. It’s the right size to fit comfortably in one hand. It doesn’t have all the extra holes an ocarina does – you blow it and it produces one note, so it’s more like a whistle.  No one else is noticing / seeing this.

There are two balloons from off (maybe tailless?).

Balloon: Hey!

Balloon: What on Earth do you think you’re doing?

Panel Four

This is a shot of an old man dressed like P T Barnum (it basically is P T Barnum, but maybe he’s got a big Charles Dickens type beard?) struggling to lift the Bigfoot off of Evie’s dad. The man looks shocked and upset. The kids are looking on, rather embarrassed, and we might be able to see Fort with the little flute thing in his mouth.

The man has three balloons, Evie’s dad has one.

Man: My exhibit! My precious exhibit!

Dad: I’m very sorry. I…

Man: A grown man! A scoutmaster, no less, by the looks of it!

Man: You of all people should no better than to go playing around!

Panel Five

We can see the Barnum man struggling to right the Bigfoot, and looking back at Evie’s dad / us angrily. If there’s room to see (some of) the kids too then that’s great. They should be looking really embarrassed and worried.

The man has two balloons and Evie’s dad has two.

Man: I believe it is time for you to leave, sir!

Man: Or should I call the police?

Panel Six

This tier-wide panel is an external shot of the carnival / fun fair which the exhibit is part of. We can see the tent which has the cryptid stuff in with some old fashioned carnival signs outside it saying things like FREAKS OF NATURE!, BE ASTOUNDED!,  and SEE REAL LIFE MONSTERS, with some fanciful pained versions of some of the rather underwhelming attractions. We can see other attractions like a Ferris wheel, a hook a duck, firing range, or similar too, and a large (lit up?)sign which says BURMAN’S TRAVELLING CARNIVAL. We want this to look pretty old fashioned and have a real Something Wicked This Way Comes vibe about it.  It’s autumn and leaves are blowing round, the trees nearby all orange and brown. The sun is just setting and everything has a bit of a glow about it.

There are two tailless balloons (don’t know why, but I think it will work better than speech captions here, although happy to go with caps if you want to stick to the normal conventions) from Evie’s dad.

Dad: Well, I… I…

Dad: … I think it’s about time we got going, kids.

PAGE FIVE

This page is the second page of a spread with Page Four.

This is another five panel page.

Panel One

This is a shot of Evie’s dad’s camper van driving along the road where Biko’s house is. The van is obviously used for scouting trips, and is all kitted out (maybe with kayaks on the roof, bikes on a bike rack on the rear, and lots of stickers from various campsites). Maybe that mountain range image you’ve done could be painted / stencilled along the side of the van? Might be a bit much, but see what you think. Biko lives on the edge of some woodland (which we can maybe see some of here) which his back garden backs on to. Otherwise though, it’s a normal suburban looking neighbourhood. It’s twilight now, late afternoon / early evening.

There is one caption.

Cap: One awkward drive later.

Panel Two

This is a shot of the interior of the van (oh, are we going to make it left hand drive, or right…? Right, I reckon) as we pull up outside Biko’s house. We can see Mr Ewan in the driving seat, Evie in the passenger seat (the van probably has three front seats, but the middle one is empty. Seated in the back we can see Li, who is playing on his Nintendo Switch, Fort (still with the ocarina in his mouth) and Biko. Everyone but Li (who is too engrossed in his game) looks rather uncomfortable, as if they don’t want to talk about what’s gone on. Maybe Evie is staring out of the side window deliberately.

Evie’s dad has two balloons, and Biko has two.

Dad: Right then, here you are, young mister Morris. Home sweet home.

Biko: Thanks, Mr. Ewan.

Biko: Mr. Ewan… I’m really sorry about-

Dad (interrupting): Don’t mention it, Biko. Don’tmention it.

Panel Three

This is a shot of Biko and Fort in front of Biko’s house waving to the van as it drives off. Biko has one hand on the dog’s head / back of his neck, stroking him affectionately, but absent mindedly. Not sure if this would work better looking out from inside the van towards the house, or from behind Biko looking towards the van. Up to you, anyway. Evie and Li are both smiling and waving back.

No dialogue.

Panel Four

This is a shot from a low angle looking up at the Fort and Biko. Biko is crouching / leaning slightly down towards us and the dog, peering at the object he’s holding in his mouth with a puzzled expression.

Biko has two balloons.

Biko: Hey, what’s that?

Biko: What have you got there, Fort?

Panel Five

This panel is the proper reveal / look at the ocarina / flute. I think Biko is holding it up towards us as he examines it, so we’ve got a clear shot of the object, his hand, and his face behind that. We can see that the ocarina / flute looks really, really old.

Biko is fascinated and has one balloon.

Biko: It looks like some kind of whistle…

Phew, what a week! I’ve added a new banner for the bottom of the page, just to help a reader orientate themselves (which has meant I’ve only just discovered, somewhat embarssingly, I messed up page 1 chapter title. Oh well, shh! Don’t tell anyone!)