PJ Holden's Blog

I’ve been eyeing up the brand new Macbook Neo. Since I’ve decided this year is the year I take writing seriously, it occurs to me I need something decent to write on. My desktop is so configured towards drawing that it’s actually pretty uncomfortable to type at – my keyboard is pushed to the left away from the monitors, and I’ve the Huion 16″ where a normal person would have a keyboard. When I want to type seriously, I’ll lift the Huion and put it to the side and move the keyboard back in to place, and even then I’m working on an massive 27″ monitor which doesn’t really lend itself to just typing.

SO, a word processing device is what’s called for (in my head) I have an old macbook pro – from maybe 2011? it’s ancient by many standards, and is functionally a bit decripid. But it does have one terabyte of storage, because I upgraded it years ago, back when you could do that easily on a macbook.

But it’s too old. It won’t update and the main application I want to run on it is Superscript.App – which actually should run but for some reason the OS is just too old.

Recently though, my wife bought a new PC – a Lenovo, spent about £700 on it (which to be honest, I think you can buy cheap PC laptops, but to get anything decent you want to spend about £700+ on it) and so we have this.

And actually, it’s a nice machine. So I’ve set it up with an account for me (but GAH! Windows! I got caught up in a slightly kafkaesque meets Cohen bros bit when I needed authorisation to install an app and everytime it asked for authorisation it just saw my face, recognised it and then decided that I needed authorisation, then it saw my face, recognised it and repeat this insane cycle until I figured out I could break it by keying in my wife’s pin number)

I hate that microsoft computers have stupid visible stickers on them-this one has three AMD RYZEN, AMD RADEON GRAPHICS, and YOGA SLim 7 sticker. My question is – WHO ARE THESE FOR? Does the average user know or care about the branding on them? WHO ARE THESE FOR???

Anyway, that notwithstanding, the machine itself is quite lovely. Bright, good resolution, and the keyboard as well – it has lit keys, which are great for sitting on the sofa in a dark living room and typing up on.

Also, it’ll run Superscript.App, so that’s sorted then. No new Macbook for me, but I have my own account on this.

I did have to go in and start deleting idiot preferences that are set by default on a windows PC (like why does the search bar show a stupid search icon of whatever is popular, right now? the winter olympics? no thanks. I just want a search bar and actually I’m not even sure I want that)

This will do (at least until I can afford to buy a macbook of some description)

Sometimes, late at night, I’ll put music on that is a time machine to my youth. Sometimes that time machine will take me back to being 16 years old and sat drawing comics at the kitchen table. Mum with her back turned to me, and me listening to Suzanne Vega, or Tracy Chapman, or Kate Bush.

And I don’t know if it’s just a memory thing or because I now live in the house I lived in from 19-26, and that proximity keeps the walls of time thin here, sometimes I imagine I can walk out the front door, head up to the Student’s Union at Queens, and see old friends there. I’m 23 and it’s first year, and the first thing I’ve done is joined the drama society. Computer Science is easy, I can do it in my sleep, but here’s a chance to do something I loved doing as a kid but was always too anxious to actually do.

Maybe I’m early for a rehearsal. Maybe I can sit in the hall way, where quotes from the first line of various books are painted up “Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again…”, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”. And I’ll slide on my headphones and press play on This Woman’s Work. Or Peter Gabriels So.

And time will pass and slowly, a little crew will assemble. Hello Martin, Hello Maddy, Hello Rhian, Hello everyone. And time will tick and we’ll move off into one of weird little rooms that off shoot the stairwell at the student’s union and we’ll begin rehearsals.

And then I’ll head to the pub, where Paul Goth (was his surname really Goth? it never mattered) will be there. Holding court. Explosion of black curly hair, goatee beard, fine features, always laughing, a denim jacket and a pint. A constant presence. A little collection of followers around him as he expounds on philosophy and general bullshit. I suspect my first exposure to an Englishman.

Music and Meloncholy, you don’t realise you’re laying down the tracks to your life.

“Some moments that I’ve had
Some moments of pleasure.”

Kate Bush. Moments of Pleasure.

(Today’s image from my vast bank of photos is from Machine Man 2020 by Herb Trimpe and Barry Windsor-Smith)

My wife has been in a new job now since the new year. It’s full time, that means now, my days are structured around an empty house. For most comic artists freelancers, they will earnestly tell you: this is the dream.

Now, it’s not. I love my wife, so it’s nice when she’s here. Though when she’s here either it’s because she’s off (and she drags me places, which I go willingly too) or she’s working at home (and then I’m a distraction to her).

Better, there’s no one else in the house, so no lifts required. No “dad can you”no “hey, you’re not working right now are you?” none of that. It’s bliss.

It is taking me a while to figure out what all this new found freedom is about though.

Blogging daily is a good use of the time, I think. It keeps me thinking of myself as some sort of writer – even if I’m not writing every day – writing a blog post IS writing, so it counts.

But I do want to get in to some sort of weekly structure too. Right now I don’t really do that.

My wife’s work has things called “Pod Meetings” people from a group get together and roughly plot out there week. Things they’ll be doing and things they’ve done. I was attempting that for a while, and I think I’ll get back to it, but it sure would be easier if I could do it i na group setting with other people. We’re of course not going to be in the same team, but wouldn’t it be nice to sit in a meeting on Monday of other freelancers and say “Hey man, what’s the plan this week?”. I should see if I can do that. Bring some structure in.

PJ’s Progress

So yesterday was great, two pages pencilled (and I’m happy with them!) and inked a page of Terran Omega (surprise! I’ve pencilled about 5 more pages ahead on Terran Omega and will pencil even more this weekend!)

ALSO this morning got a preview of the lettering on the strip I did for Mad about DC coming from DC on the 1st of April, I think. It is easily some of the prettiest lettering I’ve ever seen. Very funny, silly strip. You’ll love it.

Run for the hills.

I’m still running, currently gone back to Couch to 5k Week 3, day 2. This week has felt good though, pushing to get better at it. I’m still griping but I need to sweat a bit when I’m running and push through the desire to “Sure, why not just take this easy – at least we’re out”

Yesterday in Social Media

Internet friend, all round nice guy Paul Tobin and occasionally writer-wot-I-work-wiff posted this (Italian Space Stuff), and I mean this is awesome:

Italian space stuff.

— Paul Tobin (@paultobin.bsky.social) 2026-03-02T21:42:19.060Z

Speaking of goofy looking scifi, I’ve become slightly obsessed with finding things that are from earth that look so alien if you saw them in a film about aliens you’d go “No, that’s rediculous” but look at this beauty from Chris Mah:

A strikingly patterned land planarian! Umbotectum! #wormwednesday www.inaturalist.org/observations…

— Chris Mah (@echinoblog.bsky.social) 2026-03-04T15:13:49.605Z

And finally, some true existential horror for you:

Out Today: 2000AD Prog 2472

Featuring part 2 of Judge Dredd Climate Crises, by me with those rapscallions, Ned Hartley and Rob Williams and on colours Jack Davies with lettering by Annie Parkhouse.

This strip episode I drew and John McCrea was over at my house and asked what I was up to and I said “Some dredd” – “oh” he said, “Let me see. ” Me “…no…”

I didn’t like it. Not at all. Also we’d been looking at the Daniel Warren Johnson Extremity artists edition and it was more kinetic than anything I was doing.

So I scrapped the entire strip and started again.

It’s better.

Also today, Terran Omega Ep2 Page 3. We finally find out what happened to the kids parents (there was an “accident”)

Yesterday was a great day work wise. Three pages pencilled, new script arrived, an invoice got paid and I sat and drafted issue #4 of Terran Omega.

The next Terran Omega story is a bigger, more ambitious thing for me. The Ghosts of War is about 50 pages (written as a single story, but then chopped in to 2). The second story (issue #3-#4) is 44 pages (because I wrote it as a two parter with 22 pages each). This third story is a three parter so something like 66 pages. Just slowly building my writing muscles.

The Seed (the second story) is a fairly simple narrative, that gives us some insight into who Terran Omega is and some deep dark secret about her.

If things go to plan, I’ll start drawing that once I’ve finished The Ghosts of War. All things being equal that’s the story I’ll be serialising from August ’26 – August ’27(!)

But before I even start drawing that, I want to write the third story (issues #5-#7) it’s called The Seven. This one is broader, more characters, so that’s a thing I have to figure out. Making sure they all have a moment, selling them and the story, and then tying it all together (and it could be by the time I do all of that it may need to be a four parter, we’ll see).

I am facing a little bit of a motivational downer. Like Icarus, I think I flew a little close to the sun the past couple of weeks with Terran Omega, there were conversations had that, while I knew were just light conversations and I shouldn’t put any weight to them, still really put some wind in the sails (mixing a lot of metaphors here). Now, of course, a few weeks later, that wind has died away and it feels a little like I’m back to promoting in a vacuum. The patreon feels like it’s peaked too.

Still, I just need to dig in a bit and not worry about any of that – the point is to finish a thing, and then finish the next thing and the next and keep going. That’s how you do the job.

I guess, I can remember the first time I found the Dark Knight Returns. It was in a double page spread in the magazine Computer and Video Games. A tiny 2″ reproduction of a single page, microscopic text – I suspect the entire thing was under the banner of “kapow! Comics have grown up!”

The page was of Batman holding the draped corpse of an American general wrapped in a US flag. And I remember reading it and thinking “oh wow, this is something else.”. It felt much closer to the sensibilities of 2000ad than a batman comic, and much much closer to my sensibilities as an 17 year old.

I’m not sure actually when I saw that in C&VG, but I do remember it was 1988 when John McCrea and Fred Collier opened their comic shop “Dark Horizons” and I went in there after a drought of five years away from comics, and bought it and just devoured it.

What a book.

I reread it every year for a long long time. And tbh it’s been a while, but I cracked it open last night and started and man, still fresh.

I’ve since bought and rebought this book a number of times (an insane number of times). I have my original copy – scratched all over in front and back, a Titan Books first edition from 1986 (is it worth money? it shouldnt be, but the world is a strange place) and I have copy I bought a few years ago (I just checked, it’s the “Tenth anniversary edition” and dated 1997!) because this one is so beaten up and then I have a pure b&w (a Noir edition) though if I’m honest, Lynn Varley’s colouring on this is so incredible it seems a crime to remove it. A rare instance of colouring doing so much.

And I have an artists Edition. A big old chunky version reproducing much of the original art (including with overlays for redrawn panels).

I also have at least one digital version.

What I’d love would be some version of the original four issues rather than a collection. That might tempt me to buy it again. The digital version is reproduced from scans of the printed book, I think, certainly there’s things in there that make it seem like that (or maybe scans of the film used to print it). So I don’t know if we’ll ever get a definitive reprint that looks as good as the first print editions (certainly my old 1986 copy looks better -at least internally- than the digital versions)

(On the left the 1997 edition, presumably reprinted from film. On the right the 1986 first edition. What’s immediately striking is the blue of the caption boxes, suddenly it’s grey. Why? I have no idea. There’s no other difference, and I would say the blue is more readable.)

Will I ever give any copies of these books away? nope. Not on your nelly. Which is a mad really, but I think that speaks to how important graphic novels and comics are to the people that read them. I know that if I ever see a bunch of comics in a charity shop (as opposed to books) my first thought is “I wonder if I knew that person” – we lived a shared experience, that you only get from physical print.

This year, is the 40th anniversary of the Dark Knight Returns. That’s insane. But what a book. A generally piece of literature, that still even now can resonate.

(Featured image: My wife had planted Daffodils, and they popped up the other day and yesterday I saw this rather impressive fellow mooching around – SPRING IS HERE!)

IBS attack last night. Didn’t get to bed until I’d say about 5:30am or so. Just exhausted. Was supposed to go for a run and didn’t. Was supposed to get two pages of pencils done and didn’t. Was supposed to not spend all morning in bed and didn’t manage that either.

Honestly it’s a little dispiriting. On the plus side, the pain is bearable. (And in the past it hasn’t been) but what caused it, dunno? Maybe some cadbury’s chocolate? maybe too much greasy food? Maybe I ate too much? Maybe nothing? Maybe the weather?

It’s not even worth a doctors visit. For what? for him to tell me what I already know? There’s no good way to find pain relief, except, for me, sitting with a hot water bottle (and I tried a tens machine for a while and that seemed to work a little). So I sat with a hot water bottle glued to my belly and watched some tv.

I watched an episode of Star Trek Starfleet Academy. A show I’m enjoying despite lots of factors. I feel too old for a lot of tv shows now. I’m not just not the target audience, I’m about four demographics too old for many of them.

I’m older (by three years) than Richard Wilson was when he started playing Victor Meldrew.

I’m older (by one year) than Batman is in the Dark Knight Returns.

I’ve always felt somehow the demographic tv shows were aimed at was just slightly out of my grasp. I think the last time I felt like – oh yes, this is aimed at my age – was seeing Why Don’t You in the 70s.

As a kid I’d see stylish ads for perfumes with sexy people on yachts and think, oh yeah, that’ll be my kind of life. Then I was that age and didn’t see a yacht (and I wasn’t sexy) and now I’m so old the thoughts of a party on a yacht with sexy people horrifies me.

Man on the Inside at least has an older than me cast, but it won’t be long, it won’t be long before I’ll age out of that show too.

Anyway, hoping tonight is a little better. I have work today, and I’d like to get it done tomorrow.

It’s silly, but I’ve been mulling over the question of “could I write Terran Omega as an on going comic series”. I keep thinking, well, I’d run out of material, really. But I suspect in coming up with a character who was a weapon designed for a war long past, in a galaxy where people still live with the trauma of that millennial old conflict, I’ve accidentally stumbled across something that will always be relevant. Sadly, every news item throws up two or three ideas or things worth exploring.

The harder thing, I think would be figuring out ways to approach those stories that would keep it interesting both to write and to read. I mean not every story should be a ghost story, not every story should be a sad window into a sad world. You need hope too.

Anyway. I’m sure you’re as familiar as I am about the news (and for the record, for about 15 years from now when the blog might still be going, this is about Trump going to war with Iran).

I try and avoid talking about the news here, because, well, it’s already everywhere. But this is hard to avoid.

Pencilled two pages I’m happy with (unusual!)

Watched Abigail (try and avoid spoilers, but you won’t be able too – but actually it’s pretty great and funny) and The Last Voyage of the Demeter. Largely by the numbers, nice to look at, lacking the humour of Abigail. but still fun.

Yesterday in Social Media

Oh the new Gorillaz video, absoloutly stunning, and all hand drawn! https://www.catsuka.com/news/2026-02-27/gorillaz-the-mountain-the-moon-cave-and-the-sad-god-en-ligne-realise-par-jamie-hewlett-max-taylor-et-tim-mccourt-au-studio-the-line

And … it’s late so I’m off to bed.

Yesterday in the car taking 21 year old son N home from work. 

“Dad, I’d love to make egg friend rice again. But I need old boiled rice.”

(His last egg fried rice making adventure he used 8-EIGHT! Egg – where did he put the rice? I have no idea)

“Why don’t you make old rice?”

“I need old rice”

“Well son unless I build a Time Machine I can’t make you old rice. If you make rice when you go home you can make egg fried rice later tonight”

“Ok how do you make boiled rice?”

“Well my technique is one cup of rice and 2 and a half cups of boiling water. Once it boils turn it down and then when you see airholes in the rice it’s cooked”

“Do we have cups?”

“…what?”

“Do we have cups?”

“Do we have cups??? What are you talking about?”

“Cooking cups”

“Cooking cups????”

“Yeah for cooking with”

“… No son. I use Normal cups”

“Oh. Like glasses”

“Wha…? ok. Just use cups.”

Later we’re heading out with comic artist Mike Collins and his lovely wife Bernie for dinner but before that…

“Son, do you want me to help you make the rice?”

“No i’m ok”

“Ok. It’s one cup of rice and two and a half cups of water. Ok?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I can figure it out.” (hes doing a degree in Computers, he’s got three A*s at A level. He’s on track for a first. He is very smart)

We leave. 

We’re having dinner. There is a phone call. 

“Dad. I’ve had a rice disaster”

“What…?”

“I didn’t put enough water in.”

“Well no problem. Put more water in.”

“I can’t. It’s overflowing with rice.”

“What?”

“I think I used too small a pot.”

“Ok. Ok. Get another pot. Scoop some rice out and add more water. Will be home soon”

We get home. The kitchen is a crime scene. A rice related crime scene 

I start tidying. I lift the now empty massive bag of rice that should have some in it. 

“Son how much rice did you cook?”

“Oh two and a half cups worth”

“What??”

“Yeah I weighed it and it didn’t seem that much so I did all of it. I didn’t take in to account how much it would weigh after I cooked it”

“But I said one cup of rice to two and a half cups of water”

“Yeah I thought that was just the ratio”

“Oh so how much water do you use?”

“Four cups”

“But that’s … you did two and a half cups of rice so four cups of water isn’t even the right ratio”

“I know”

“My egg fried rice was delicious though”

The scene of the crime:

Ok, not really perils. But it’s been interesting. I restarted my patreon and thought if I just consistently delivered new material every week on a regular metronome like consistency I’d slowly build an audience, and I did, but actually that building has now turned to a trickle. For a few months there I was gaining 50+ people a month, and then January and February that just slowed down significantly.

(The drawing by the way is from when my youngest was doing his amazing comic Monkey Arms, I hope he’ll get back to it one day, right now he’s all about music and mates, but he’s 17 so that’s expected)

I’ve enough followers there now – 373 that it does feel like there’s a solid reason to post there, but like every platform the number of people following you doesn’t directly translate in to likes or actually any active choices. Most posts get about 7-8 likes, some outliers 15.

I’ve a few paid followers, certainly a decent number (about 37) but most oare paying $1 (and once you subtract the costs that’s literally pennies) in all I think I’m theoretically making $110 per month. But it’s just stacking up in patreon, waiting for me to do something with it.

I could have tried to make more, and maybe once this book is finished, I’ll restructure it so that the paid amounts start at $5. I had hoped that at $1 I’d convert most people to paying, but that’s not how that has panned out (if everyone paid $1 I’d be making $370 per month, still not a lot, but actually enough to pay for two pages of work per month…)

If I end up doing a second book on the platform, I’ll maybe up the monies and see if I can up the frequency of pages.

Could be I scare away everyone donating $1, but maybe if everyone was paying $5 I’d do alright.

(BUT WHY WHY? So I can basically fund myself doing comics I’m writing and drawing!)

On the writing front, I’m approaching TerranOmega like “what if I’m writing twelve issues of this”, so I’ve all the stories but some are requiring a bit more thought than others. And in the middle of watching an imax concert (21 pilots, with my son who is a huge fan) I decide the story for #5-#6 needed to start at the end. Grab you right at the worse moment and let the story unfold.

Yesterday I didn’t post! Shock! Did you miss me? No time and by the time I realised I was gonna break my streak I was lying in bed (ipad in hand, wordpress dashboard opened up, ready to start typing awkwardly) and thought – no … what if I take one day off deliberately. Not that I missed it, but that I decided “this day intentionally left blank”. Giving it an intentionality made it easier to stop worrying about it and think “well, I’ll post tomorrow, so it’ll not be because I had no time, rather becuase I just decided a blank was ok”. So there.

Yesterday in Social Media

John Cullen a marvellous artist posted a fun comic strip

Any way that’s all I’ve got time for, now run free horse! RUN FREE!

Some days just escape from you. This is one of them. I mean it didn’t start like that. The morning and afternoon felt like there was plenty of time then suddenly none. 

I was driving around earlier today, I like within the same 10 minute walkable route that I was born in. I sometimes think that’s a real failure on my part. Like where did I go? nowhere. What did I achieve? I mean a reasonable amount. I guess. 

One street in particular was the street of my childhood and it’s largely the same except it’s got cars everywhere. As a kid I remember it as being mostly empty. We could run around the streets and see the odd car but now it’s cars right up to every corner. We used to play in an old abandoned car park beside an old abandoned factory. Left alone for hours. At least until dinner time. 

I might have been the last generation to have that freedom. 

On the writing front, I wrote the entire issue #3 of Terran omega and sketched out issue #4. I dunno, writing doesn’t seem that hard (haha I kid!)

When on earth will I ever get a chance to draw these things? I don’t know. I’m thinking retirement. 

Speaking of which (and the which here is Terran Omega) there’s a new page over at my Patreon, but here it is too.