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About Emma Newman

Emma Newman writes short stories, novels and novellas in multiple speculative fiction genres. She is a professional audiobook narrator, and a Hugo Award winning podcaster. Her current podcasts are ‘Imagining Tomorrow’ and ‘Tea and Sanctuary’. www.enewman.co.uk

The Script

Comic script - this is exactly what happened to my son in the small hours of this morning. I only saw the messages when I woke up, and he told me what happened once he was awake. It made me laugh, and I immediately thought it might make a fun comic and Beanie agreed!

A young man (if you want to base him loosely on my son, he’s 16 years old, tall, short brown hair, blue eyes) is about to leave his room but spots a huge spider on wall next to the door (it is on the wall that the door would rest against when open and the dressing gown hanging on the back of the door would brush against where the spider is) . 

He is terrified of spiders, so he can’t open the door. It’s the small hours of the morning.

He leaps onto his bed on the other side of the room, a bookcase blocking the line of sight between him and the spider and tries to phone his Mum who is sleeping in her room across the landing, and message her on WhatsApp, but her phone is on ‘Do not disturb’ so there’s no answer. 

Panicking, he phones friends until one finally picks up - ‘Help! There’s a huge spider in my room!’

Friend: What colour is it?

Beanie: Black? Brown? I dunno! It was BIG

Friend: You’re okay, I don’t think they can climb.

Beanie: IT’S ON MY WALL! (throughout the rest of this exchange the friend also now freaking out is just making Bean panic even more!) 

Friend: Oh, that one can climb then! Just dash out the door!

Beanie: It’s by the door, I can’t get out!

Friend: IT’S IN YOUR ROOM?! 

Beanie: Yes, I told you this!

He peeps round the bookcase. The spider is gone!

Beanie: It’s gone!

Friend: THAT MEANS IT COULD BE ANYWHERE!

Beanie’s eyes flick to all the posters it could be hiding behind, and all the clothes and stuff on his floor it could now be lurking under.

Beanie: YOU ARE NOT HELPING!

He hangs up and hides in the duvet. If you think that a final shot on the spider’s hiding place would be a good ending, do add that in, but happy to end it on Beanie hiding.

 

Artists Notes

One of the goals of the project was to try and work with as many writers as possible, and so I told every writer "Don't worry - I'll take any format of script" - there are sort of comic script standards, and attempts have been made in the past to really hammer them in, but for the most part every writer I work with works a little different anyway. That said, this script required a lot of thinking about to get the most out of the story (you can argue amongst yourself whether that's what I did).

Firstly there's a sort of action limit in comics, every action will usually require one panel - character opens door, walks through door, locks door? that's three panels. I felt like, on this script, there was too much going on to fit in the super limited single page I had, plus some of the action I wanted to build it up a bit more, so I knew I'd be putting a bunch of panels towards the getting ready to go out (because build up build up build up build up PUNCHLINE!) I also knew I wanted the dialogue interaction to have that ratatatat rapid delivery, which meant I'd get a single panel for that set of dialogue. This meant brutalising the story a little, cutting out the contacting of his mum and going straight to the friend. I also wanted a little end note on the spider - I thought that would be fun, a happy little chappy. (remove the last spider panel and the page feels like it's not quite finished - it's a figurative and literal full stop)

The manga shading effect/speedlines came after I'd drawn it and realise it would work better with a little bit of manga (tonally too, fits a teen), and the coloured lettering was because I needed someway to quickly distinguish the two sets of dialogue (I decided to eschew clip studio's balloon lettering tools a) because it would take ages to get exactly how I want it and b) because I thought I could add more character to it that way. The background of the room is pretty much a direct tracing of my teenage son's bedroom (which is so quintessentially teenager it looks like a set from a modern John Hughes teen comedy). (And it's all my son's work, he's done that all without parental help)

Anyway. This was finished the day before publication, but I think it turned out ok.

Oh, and because I drew it, and then slathered lettering all over it, here's the page without dialogue...

Folklore Thursday

I’m having to revisit folklore thursday strips for a collection (hurrah!) and oen of the things I’m doing is a brand new strip. Except… I don’t remember how to do it any more! So I’m sitting staring at the John’s tweet (remember, John Reppion would write a folklore tweet and I’d make up a comic using it) and thinking “how did I do this for a year?”

Four page days

I’m scheduling the pencils I’ve got to do this week for four page a day. Absolutely bonkers, but very doable. I mean, for a start my pencils are super rough (a guide for my later inking). Hoping I can get 21 pages completed, then start inking next week. One annoying thing about that schedule is when you have a hard crash in the middle of it (for whatever reason) suddenly, you’ve missed two days and you’re eight pages behind. Horrible.

Qwitter

I’ve gone round the houses on twitter, and the quitting of it. Here’s where I am now: my account – while active is only so because it’s a reasonable defence against my username being handed to a pornbot or similar (how many old comics forums are now in the hands of porn websites? I dunno, but don’t look up panelxpixel, it’s depressing)

Anything I post here gets autoposted, I do occasionally browse twitter and when I do, I might RT someone generally if it’s someone looking for help, or trying to drum up an audience for their kickstarter. I’m trying not to engage, but twitter still remains the best way to catch up on the world. BUT – my days of posting bon mots are, I think, over.

I have occasionally posted stuff, but it’s now basically just when I want eyeballs to look at things. I’ve found, like my old boss Davie used to say – I’m as replaceable as a fist in a bucket of water (you remove the fist and the water rapidly fills in the void)

I suspect over time those eyeballs numbers will drop and drop until the point where there really is no point posting there (partly this is the algorithem anyway, and partly I suspect Musk’s push for payment for audience is gonna make it useless)

That all said, my blog has never had more attention from me, and I’ve been averaging three-four pages of pencils per day (I mean yesterday I finished pencilling a page from the previous day, then did two pages of pencils and then did two pages of inks and still went to bed at a reasonable time…) so being mostly off twitter has been generally a net positive in my life – even if I do miss all my old mates who haven’t made the leap to Mastodon.

Film Night!

So, I did the first class – a sort of introductory who-we-are-and-what-our-favourite-films-are, two hour thing.

(For the record, I said my favourite film is The Big Lebowski – which I think it is, probably the film I’ve seen the most, and has bits that make me laugh, though honestly the reason I’m doing a course on short film making is I love things like Inside No 9, Black Mirror and… you know … 2000ad)

The plan is everyone who wants to can pitch an idea and then Larry (who’s running the thing) will pick one (based, more on how well it’ll use everyone’s abilities, as much as the quality of the idea/script)

It’s weird introducing yourself in a group – especially one where odds are you’ll find a comic fan – or at least someone who knows you (Belfast is a small place anyway, so – as was the case here – Larry had heard of me, but from people saying “there’s a guy who lives [redacted] who writes* for 2000ad” (*these things are always a bit garbled)

So last night I sat and had a think and came up with about five ideas for shorts, I dunno if any will get past tomorrow, and they’re all a little nebulous, but here they are:

TANGO

Outside a community centre a husband and wife talk about their past, and their future, and how this tango class is a first step in a new future for him. As he walks haltingly towards the door, we see a sign for the tango night – “Singles Tango Night – widowers welcome” and he turns and says goodbye to his wife, who vanishes.

The Pass

Spide and Jaunty are two not-so-bright belfast hoods who need some money for weed, and decide to mug the first person to come down the back street they’re in. That first person, it turns out… is Gandalf.

There’s a confrontation – Gandalf gets the better of the two idiots and escapes, but as he does so, he drops his pipe.

Spide is disappointed, they got nothing. “‘er, you think he was… you know, Magic…?” Jaunty, drawing from the pipe and in a smokey weed induced haze – “I dunno about him, but this is fucking magic”

The Ticket

A traffic warden and a badly parked driver face off, as the warden is about to place a ticket on the car and the man knows if he can get to the door he can claim he was just leaving. No dialogue and filmed like a spaghetti western, including tumbling crisp packets and close up of sweaty eyes.

Working Stiff

An office style docudrama as a husband and wife are interviewed about their typical day. The husband though, is a monosyllabic zombie. “Oh well, day to day there’s not much difference from before, I mean he’s still mostly in the way, though he is a LOT better with the dog and to be honest his personal hygene isn’t what it was… ” “And your … love life” “Oh, well, now … that IS different… I mean… now he’s always … ” [end credits]

Eat my Shorts

I woke up this morning and thought, I should really be trying to do something beyond just sitting in the house and drawing comics, and LO! I booked myself a course on making short films at our local arts community centre. (if you’re in Belfast, it’s the Crescent Arts Centre)

I did think “I should do something totally outside my wheel house” – but I’ve wanted for years to make short films and never done anything beyond a couple of little goofy shorts for my son (who was the main driving force – when he was about 8) and my mate (years and years ago, again, he was the main driving force). I have all the kit, I just lacked time and a way to remove the barriers you construct around yourself.

I’d like to do this, then maybe a course on writing, but we’ll see how we go…