PAGE NINE
Okay, I think this is a six panel page, but I’m going to leave the exact beats up to you, PJ. I know what the first and last panels should be, but between them, I think I may as well let you see what you think works best.
Panel One
Here we’re outside in the garden, directly behind the hairy creature we’ve just glimpsed through the window. We can see the back of the creature’s head and shoulders and can see Biko’s window ahead and above us / it. The creature is turning its head to one side, so that we can see (a bit of) its profile. It is sniffing the air as if it’s smelled something interesting. You could even do a “Bisto” smell trail, if you think that would work (or not).
One FX.
FX: snff-snff
Panels Two to Five(?)
So, what’s going on here is that our hairy friend has smelled some open snacks which have been left in Biko’s tree-house, which doubles as MACS HQ. Without ever showing the creature fully (definitely not its full face), but showing shots of its hands, feet, etc, I want us to follow its short journey up into the tree-house, sniffing all the way. Shots of the sniffing nose, maybe? Hands and/or feet on the ladder up to the tree-house. The top of the hairy head pushing up through the trapdoor in the floor of the tree-house. I think that what the creature is smelling is a big open bag of Tayto crisps, which we can maybe see in the foreground as the head appears inside the tree-house. Thinking of the ET eating M&Ms riff, but using crisps, basically. We might even risk a “Yum” from our creature?
Final Panel
We the hairy creature’s foot / ankle is tripping a laser tripwire as they grab the big bag of crisps. I think all we need to do is show the two terminals (or whatever you’d call them) which face each other, rather than an actual laser beam (unless you think a beam being broken would work better visually). Google kids Spy tripwire alarm, and you’ll see what there are loads of them. A little LED on one of the terminals is glowing red, and making a tiny “bip” type noise.
PAGE TEN
Again, I think this is six(ish) panels, but the exact beats are up to you. Dialogue isn’t set in stone if you don’t think there’s room for all of it in the composition you go for.
First Panel
This panel shows the a small light bulb lighting up in the darkness of Biko’s bedroom. I think its probably part of an electronics kits that he’s built himself, so it might be like a breadboard type thing. There’s a handwritten label taped to the contraption which reads INTRUDER ALERT.
Now whether, you want to just show this detail as a panel of its own and then “pull back” to show Biko wakened by the light and the noise, and looking towards the light, is up to you. But that’s what happens; the light and the sound wake Biko and he looks towards the light in shock.
There is one FX from the alarm (not too big / loud) and Biko has two balloons.
FX: bzzz bzzz bzzz
Biko: What the heck…?
Biko: Someone’s in the tree-house!
Panels Three(?) to Five(?)
Okay, we want to get Biko and Fort outside so that Biko can climb up and investigate who is in the tree-house. I don’t know if a straight cut to Biko pushing open the back door of the house works? He has a torch in one hand, the beam cutting through the darkness, but is barefoot in his pyjamas.
Maybe we show him climbing the ladder so that we’re looking down at him, and we can see Fort on the ground below looking up at him/us?
He could have a couple of whispered balloons here.
Biko: Li? Evie?
Biko: Is that you?
Then maybe a panel of the interior of the tree-house, with a bit of our hairy visitor in the foreground all in silhouette, busily munching crisps. Biko is pushing the door of the tree-house open and entering towards us, the beam of his torch not yet on the hairy fella.
Biko: We didn’t say anything about a midnight…
FX: munch crunch munch
Final Panel
This is a reaction shot of Biko’s face (head/shoulders) as his torch finally illuminates the visitor properly. He looks shocked and stunned.
He has one balloon (and maybe the munching continues?)
Biko: …feast…?
