PJ Holden's Blog

As a parent of young kids, I feel this page deep in my soul. (And when I was a kid, with a house full of brothers, I recognise the same warm cozy playing and chatting and bedtime)

PAGE SIX & SEVEN

Okay, this is a two page spread which actually spans both pages.

I know what the first panel is, and what I think the last two should be, but I’m going to leave the rest to you in terms of how you want to break the whole thing up and show it.

Panel One

This is a close shot of the whistle / ocarina being blown hard by Biko (maybe just his nose / lips / cheek in shot? Up to you). The whistle is producing a note which we want to show like a radiating sound wave / ripple. Like a )))) type of thing. Or some other way, if you can think of something better. This sound is going to grow and spread out from this first panel and stop before the penultimate panel.

Panels X to X

So, the idea here is that we see the sound wave spread out from the whistle, past Biko’s house, through the woods which lay beyond. We see squirrels, birds, and other wildlife pricking their ears up and looking alert as the sound passes them.

We see a hidden hollow deep within the woods, screened off by decades of fallen branches, tangled brambles and ivy. It’s half filled with leaves and mulch which have blown and drifted in there over the years. From under the leaves, something hairy arises. Don’t know if you want to do the traditional zombie shot with a hand emerging first, or a slow emerging of the head and shoulders from out of the leaves as our hairy friend awakes. We don’t want to do a full reveal of the character yet, but this is a shocking, exciting glimpse. Maybe they’re mostly in shadow, and their eyes are glinting in the waning light? I’m imagining it as quite Swamp Thing shot (the whole sequence really).

Penultimate Panel

This is a shot of Biko who has now stopped blowing the whistle and is looking at it critically, holding it up in one hand.

He has two balloons.

Biko: Not a peep.

Biko: Must be broken.

Final Panel

This is a shot from a low angle with Fort in the foreground and Biko opening the front door of his house to enter in the mid-ground. If there’s room, we can see past the house a little so that we can see how close the woodland is. Fort is looking up quizzically, as if he can sense that something is on its way.

Biko has two balloons.

Biko: Mum! I’m home!

Biko: A Bigfoot fell on Evie’s dad!

End of Chapter One.

Running a bit late! Thanks for sticking with us!

-pj

PAGE FOUR

This page is the first of a spread with Page Five.

This is a six panel page. Exact layout is up to you, but I think Panel Six is a tier-wide shallow panel at the bottom of the page.

Panel One

This is a panel all filled with dust and dirt which has come off the toppled model when it has landed. We can see the faces of Li and Evie in amongst the dust and dirt (which might spill out over the panel borders a bit). They look worried and confused, their eyes shut against the dirt and maybe a hand thrown up to try to cover their faces.

They each have one balloon and there are a couple of FX.

FX: coff-coff

Li: Holy Cow! The dust off that thing!

FX: coff-coff

Evie: Is everyone okay?

Panel Two

Here the dust is clearing and we can see that Evie’s dad is lying on the floor, pinned under the Bigfoot model, the back of which looks a lot more threadbare than the front. His face is covered in dust and he looks really uncomfortable.

There are two FX and three balloons from Evie’s dad.

FX: coff-coff

Dad: I… I’m fine.

FX: coff-coff

Dad: It’s not as heavy as it looks.

Dad: Not quite.

Panel Three

This is a shot of Fort snuffling round in what remains of the box (the dust still settling). We can see that it contained some papers and odds and ends, but the dog is picking up what looks like a small ocarina type ceramic (or bone?) flute in its mouth. It’s the right size to fit comfortably in one hand. It doesn’t have all the extra holes an ocarina does – you blow it and it produces one note, so it’s more like a whistle.  No one else is noticing / seeing this.

There are two balloons from off (maybe tailless?).

Balloon: Hey!

Balloon: What on Earth do you think you’re doing?

Panel Four

This is a shot of an old man dressed like P T Barnum (it basically is P T Barnum, but maybe he’s got a big Charles Dickens type beard?) struggling to lift the Bigfoot off of Evie’s dad. The man looks shocked and upset. The kids are looking on, rather embarrassed, and we might be able to see Fort with the little flute thing in his mouth.

The man has three balloons, Evie’s dad has one.

Man: My exhibit! My precious exhibit!

Dad: I’m very sorry. I…

Man: A grown man! A scoutmaster, no less, by the looks of it!

Man: You of all people should no better than to go playing around!

Panel Five

We can see the Barnum man struggling to right the Bigfoot, and looking back at Evie’s dad / us angrily. If there’s room to see (some of) the kids too then that’s great. They should be looking really embarrassed and worried.

The man has two balloons and Evie’s dad has two.

Man: I believe it is time for you to leave, sir!

Man: Or should I call the police?

Panel Six

This tier-wide panel is an external shot of the carnival / fun fair which the exhibit is part of. We can see the tent which has the cryptid stuff in with some old fashioned carnival signs outside it saying things like FREAKS OF NATURE!, BE ASTOUNDED!,  and SEE REAL LIFE MONSTERS, with some fanciful pained versions of some of the rather underwhelming attractions. We can see other attractions like a Ferris wheel, a hook a duck, firing range, or similar too, and a large (lit up?)sign which says BURMAN’S TRAVELLING CARNIVAL. We want this to look pretty old fashioned and have a real Something Wicked This Way Comes vibe about it.  It’s autumn and leaves are blowing round, the trees nearby all orange and brown. The sun is just setting and everything has a bit of a glow about it.

There are two tailless balloons (don’t know why, but I think it will work better than speech captions here, although happy to go with caps if you want to stick to the normal conventions) from Evie’s dad.

Dad: Well, I… I…

Dad: … I think it’s about time we got going, kids.

PAGE FIVE

This page is the second page of a spread with Page Four.

This is another five panel page.

Panel One

This is a shot of Evie’s dad’s camper van driving along the road where Biko’s house is. The van is obviously used for scouting trips, and is all kitted out (maybe with kayaks on the roof, bikes on a bike rack on the rear, and lots of stickers from various campsites). Maybe that mountain range image you’ve done could be painted / stencilled along the side of the van? Might be a bit much, but see what you think. Biko lives on the edge of some woodland (which we can maybe see some of here) which his back garden backs on to. Otherwise though, it’s a normal suburban looking neighbourhood. It’s twilight now, late afternoon / early evening.

There is one caption.

Cap: One awkward drive later.

Panel Two

This is a shot of the interior of the van (oh, are we going to make it left hand drive, or right…? Right, I reckon) as we pull up outside Biko’s house. We can see Mr Ewan in the driving seat, Evie in the passenger seat (the van probably has three front seats, but the middle one is empty. Seated in the back we can see Li, who is playing on his Nintendo Switch, Fort (still with the ocarina in his mouth) and Biko. Everyone but Li (who is too engrossed in his game) looks rather uncomfortable, as if they don’t want to talk about what’s gone on. Maybe Evie is staring out of the side window deliberately.

Evie’s dad has two balloons, and Biko has two.

Dad: Right then, here you are, young mister Morris. Home sweet home.

Biko: Thanks, Mr. Ewan.

Biko: Mr. Ewan… I’m really sorry about-

Dad (interrupting): Don’t mention it, Biko. Don’tmention it.

Panel Three

This is a shot of Biko and Fort in front of Biko’s house waving to the van as it drives off. Biko has one hand on the dog’s head / back of his neck, stroking him affectionately, but absent mindedly. Not sure if this would work better looking out from inside the van towards the house, or from behind Biko looking towards the van. Up to you, anyway. Evie and Li are both smiling and waving back.

No dialogue.

Panel Four

This is a shot from a low angle looking up at the Fort and Biko. Biko is crouching / leaning slightly down towards us and the dog, peering at the object he’s holding in his mouth with a puzzled expression.

Biko has two balloons.

Biko: Hey, what’s that?

Biko: What have you got there, Fort?

Panel Five

This panel is the proper reveal / look at the ocarina / flute. I think Biko is holding it up towards us as he examines it, so we’ve got a clear shot of the object, his hand, and his face behind that. We can see that the ocarina / flute looks really, really old.

Biko is fascinated and has one balloon.

Biko: It looks like some kind of whistle…

Phew, what a week! I’ve added a new banner for the bottom of the page, just to help a reader orientate themselves (which has meant I’ve only just discovered, somewhat embarssingly, I messed up page 1 chapter title. Oh well, shh! Don’t tell anyone!)

PAGE TWO

This page and Page Three are a spread.

This is a four panel page. Panel Four is a tall one (maybe two tiers tall?) Up to you though, obviously.

Panel One

This is a reveal of the person who shouted at the kids. It’s Evie’s dad, dressed in full scoutmaster’s uniform (maybe even with a hat and rucksack on? Possibly too much) and carrying three huge candyfloss/cotton-candies on sticks. He’s grinning at us / the kids as he struggles towards us with the three oversized treats. Behind him we can see maybe one or twoof the other exhibits in the tent. Maybe a stuffed Jackalope, mounted (full body) to look like its mid leap, and a slightly paper mache looking pterodactyl skull in front of a black and white photo like this https://duckduckgo.com/?q=pterodactyl+photo+1800s&t=ffab&atb=v111-1&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images . We can also see some of the other patrons of the tent, some of whom might be looking at Evie’s dad with amusement.

Evie’s dad has three balloons.

Dad: I got you some Monster Snacks!

Dad: Get it?

Dad: Seriously though, help. These things are huge.

Panel Two

This is a shot of the kids gratefully receiving the snacks from Mr. Ewan. He’s casting an eye round the inside of the tent looking like he’s not really that impressed with what he sees, but trying to act like it’s all good.

The kids each have one balloon, and Evie’s dad has one.

Evie: Thanks, dad.

Li: Thanks.

Biko: Thanks, Mr. Ewan.

Dad: Well then…certainly some interesting stuff on display here, eh?

Panel Three

This is a shot of Biko. I think it’s from Evie’s dad’s POV, so we’re looking down at him, but up to you really. He’s referring to his note book, maybe munching on candyfloss too.

Biko has two balloons.

Biko: Most of these specimens area hundred years old or more. They should really be in museums instead of a sideshow tent.

Biko: But, of course, we haven’t even got to the most fascinating exhibit yet…

Panel Four

This is a big reveal of the star exhibit of the tent. Its going to be in pride of place, up on a plinth, maybe even with some curtains (now parted) which screen it off. It’s a rather moth-eaten looking, life sized (8 foot tall) Bigfoot. It’s half way between a model and a stuffed specimen, but some patches on it look bare, and even as if they’ve been repaired. It’s a fairly frightening looking beast (it might look a bit more like a Gigantopithecus than a Sasquach?), and towers above us. Maybe we’re looking up from a low angle, to increase the towering? One of the creature’s feet is raised slightly, standing on an old, dusty, wooden box, which looks like it’s been put there to replace some missing bit of of the original diorama.

There are two tailless balloons from Biko (the first of which, might be lettered larger than usual for dramatic effect?).

Biko (off): … the Lovelock CaveApe!

Biko (off): Also known as Lovelock’s Bigfoot.

PAGE THREE

This page is part of a spread with Page Two.

This is a six panel page (I think), but I’m going to be a bit looser with the description here so the layout is up to you (ideally mirroring or echoing Page Two in some way).

Panel One

Biko is reading from his notebook and has three balloons.

Biko: Discovered by Frank Lovelock in 1884, in cave in the Black Skull mountains.

Biko: Basically a heap of fur and stuff.

Biko: He thought it was a bear, but there are no bears up there.

Panel Two

This is a close up of part of the Bigfoot figure. Fort the dog is sniffing at it really intently in all these panels, obviously getting more and more excited and interested.

Three balloons from Biko (off panel, maybe tailless).

Biko (off): They did some testing on the fur and the results came back saying it was from an unknown species.

Biko (off): That got people interested.

Biko (off): Newspapers started calling it Lovelock’s Bigfoot.

Panel Three

Not sure if we should cut back to Biko here, or carry on with some shots of the Bigfoot. Up to you.

Biko has three balloons (maybe from off)

Biko: Lovelock was just a hiker and didn’t really know what to do with the remains.

Biko: So, when he was offered a chunk of money for everything he’d found, he took it.

Biko: He sold it all.

Panel Four

Here we can see that Fort is now not just snuffling, but scrabbling at the box which the Bigfoot’s big foot rests on.

Three balloons from Biko (off), and one FX.

Biko: The man who bought it ran a travelling side-show, and he had this model made.

Biko: Only the fur is real, really. But still, it’s pretty cool.

FX: scritch scratch

Biko: Hey! Fort! Stop that!

Panels Five and Six

Okay, so Fort’s scrabbling causes the box to break / cave in, and the Bigfoot model topples forwards  towards the kids and Evie’s dad. We’re just looking for a shot of the looming beast seeming to lunge forwards towards us and possibly a terrified reaction of the group as it does so (maybe the shadow of the monster falling across them?).

One FX from the box breaking, maybe one from the toppling figure, one balloon (from Evie’s dad?).  Feel free to change my FX if you think something else would suit better, they’re a bit placeholder-y as is.

FX: KA-KRACK

FX: kreeeeeaaak

Balloon: LOOK OUT!

And that’s it! We’re officially launched!

New page coming to everyone on patreon this weekend, and then that’ll available to everyone next week!

Thanks for supporting us!

Here we are, page 3! We launch on Saturday on the twitter account monster_macs using the hashtag #MonsterMACS all three pages will go out on Saturday on twitter, and I’ll do a post here to recap with just the completed art! Next week we move on to a regular schedule of one page per week. Though since John has written the entire first chapter, if timing works out right I might end up getting a week or two ahead. The art will be black and white with blue wash, unless there’s a special occasion! 

Hope you like it so far!

Minor kerfulffle as I decide to move from the US format I’d done a bunch of things in (books for dark horse and image) to the US format I used for DC (as per their spec) which means resizing some stuff on page 1. But anyway, neither here nor there. Here’s PAGE 2! 

Going from Colour to Black and white with a spot colour, decided it would be fun to do it as a digital wash, with a blue tone, it feels like an old british comic annual. Anyway, hope you like it! Starts NEXT SATURDAY! When everyone else will get to read it too!