PJ Holden's Blog

PAGE FOUR

This page is the first of a spread with Page Five.

This is a six panel page. Exact layout is up to you, but I think Panel Six is a tier-wide shallow panel at the bottom of the page.

Panel One

This is a panel all filled with dust and dirt which has come off the toppled model when it has landed. We can see the faces of Li and Evie in amongst the dust and dirt (which might spill out over the panel borders a bit). They look worried and confused, their eyes shut against the dirt and maybe a hand thrown up to try to cover their faces.

They each have one balloon and there are a couple of FX.

FX: coff-coff

Li: Holy Cow! The dust off that thing!

FX: coff-coff

Evie: Is everyone okay?

Panel Two

Here the dust is clearing and we can see that Evie’s dad is lying on the floor, pinned under the Bigfoot model, the back of which looks a lot more threadbare than the front. His face is covered in dust and he looks really uncomfortable.

There are two FX and three balloons from Evie’s dad.

FX: coff-coff

Dad: I… I’m fine.

FX: coff-coff

Dad: It’s not as heavy as it looks.

Dad: Not quite.

Panel Three

This is a shot of Fort snuffling round in what remains of the box (the dust still settling). We can see that it contained some papers and odds and ends, but the dog is picking up what looks like a small ocarina type ceramic (or bone?) flute in its mouth. It’s the right size to fit comfortably in one hand. It doesn’t have all the extra holes an ocarina does – you blow it and it produces one note, so it’s more like a whistle.  No one else is noticing / seeing this.

There are two balloons from off (maybe tailless?).

Balloon: Hey!

Balloon: What on Earth do you think you’re doing?

Panel Four

This is a shot of an old man dressed like P T Barnum (it basically is P T Barnum, but maybe he’s got a big Charles Dickens type beard?) struggling to lift the Bigfoot off of Evie’s dad. The man looks shocked and upset. The kids are looking on, rather embarrassed, and we might be able to see Fort with the little flute thing in his mouth.

The man has three balloons, Evie’s dad has one.

Man: My exhibit! My precious exhibit!

Dad: I’m very sorry. I…

Man: A grown man! A scoutmaster, no less, by the looks of it!

Man: You of all people should no better than to go playing around!

Panel Five

We can see the Barnum man struggling to right the Bigfoot, and looking back at Evie’s dad / us angrily. If there’s room to see (some of) the kids too then that’s great. They should be looking really embarrassed and worried.

The man has two balloons and Evie’s dad has two.

Man: I believe it is time for you to leave, sir!

Man: Or should I call the police?

Panel Six

This tier-wide panel is an external shot of the carnival / fun fair which the exhibit is part of. We can see the tent which has the cryptid stuff in with some old fashioned carnival signs outside it saying things like FREAKS OF NATURE!, BE ASTOUNDED!,  and SEE REAL LIFE MONSTERS, with some fanciful pained versions of some of the rather underwhelming attractions. We can see other attractions like a Ferris wheel, a hook a duck, firing range, or similar too, and a large (lit up?)sign which says BURMAN’S TRAVELLING CARNIVAL. We want this to look pretty old fashioned and have a real Something Wicked This Way Comes vibe about it.  It’s autumn and leaves are blowing round, the trees nearby all orange and brown. The sun is just setting and everything has a bit of a glow about it.

There are two tailless balloons (don’t know why, but I think it will work better than speech captions here, although happy to go with caps if you want to stick to the normal conventions) from Evie’s dad.

Dad: Well, I… I…

Dad: … I think it’s about time we got going, kids.

PAGE FIVE

This page is the second page of a spread with Page Four.

This is another five panel page.

Panel One

This is a shot of Evie’s dad’s camper van driving along the road where Biko’s house is. The van is obviously used for scouting trips, and is all kitted out (maybe with kayaks on the roof, bikes on a bike rack on the rear, and lots of stickers from various campsites). Maybe that mountain range image you’ve done could be painted / stencilled along the side of the van? Might be a bit much, but see what you think. Biko lives on the edge of some woodland (which we can maybe see some of here) which his back garden backs on to. Otherwise though, it’s a normal suburban looking neighbourhood. It’s twilight now, late afternoon / early evening.

There is one caption.

Cap: One awkward drive later.

Panel Two

This is a shot of the interior of the van (oh, are we going to make it left hand drive, or right…? Right, I reckon) as we pull up outside Biko’s house. We can see Mr Ewan in the driving seat, Evie in the passenger seat (the van probably has three front seats, but the middle one is empty. Seated in the back we can see Li, who is playing on his Nintendo Switch, Fort (still with the ocarina in his mouth) and Biko. Everyone but Li (who is too engrossed in his game) looks rather uncomfortable, as if they don’t want to talk about what’s gone on. Maybe Evie is staring out of the side window deliberately.

Evie’s dad has two balloons, and Biko has two.

Dad: Right then, here you are, young mister Morris. Home sweet home.

Biko: Thanks, Mr. Ewan.

Biko: Mr. Ewan… I’m really sorry about-

Dad (interrupting): Don’t mention it, Biko. Don’tmention it.

Panel Three

This is a shot of Biko and Fort in front of Biko’s house waving to the van as it drives off. Biko has one hand on the dog’s head / back of his neck, stroking him affectionately, but absent mindedly. Not sure if this would work better looking out from inside the van towards the house, or from behind Biko looking towards the van. Up to you, anyway. Evie and Li are both smiling and waving back.

No dialogue.

Panel Four

This is a shot from a low angle looking up at the Fort and Biko. Biko is crouching / leaning slightly down towards us and the dog, peering at the object he’s holding in his mouth with a puzzled expression.

Biko has two balloons.

Biko: Hey, what’s that?

Biko: What have you got there, Fort?

Panel Five

This panel is the proper reveal / look at the ocarina / flute. I think Biko is holding it up towards us as he examines it, so we’ve got a clear shot of the object, his hand, and his face behind that. We can see that the ocarina / flute looks really, really old.

Biko is fascinated and has one balloon.

Biko: It looks like some kind of whistle…

Phew, what a week! I’ve added a new banner for the bottom of the page, just to help a reader orientate themselves (which has meant I’ve only just discovered, somewhat embarssingly, I messed up page 1 chapter title. Oh well, shh! Don’t tell anyone!)

PAGE TWO

This page and Page Three are a spread.

This is a four panel page. Panel Four is a tall one (maybe two tiers tall?) Up to you though, obviously.

Panel One

This is a reveal of the person who shouted at the kids. It’s Evie’s dad, dressed in full scoutmaster’s uniform (maybe even with a hat and rucksack on? Possibly too much) and carrying three huge candyfloss/cotton-candies on sticks. He’s grinning at us / the kids as he struggles towards us with the three oversized treats. Behind him we can see maybe one or twoof the other exhibits in the tent. Maybe a stuffed Jackalope, mounted (full body) to look like its mid leap, and a slightly paper mache looking pterodactyl skull in front of a black and white photo like this https://duckduckgo.com/?q=pterodactyl+photo+1800s&t=ffab&atb=v111-1&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images . We can also see some of the other patrons of the tent, some of whom might be looking at Evie’s dad with amusement.

Evie’s dad has three balloons.

Dad: I got you some Monster Snacks!

Dad: Get it?

Dad: Seriously though, help. These things are huge.

Panel Two

This is a shot of the kids gratefully receiving the snacks from Mr. Ewan. He’s casting an eye round the inside of the tent looking like he’s not really that impressed with what he sees, but trying to act like it’s all good.

The kids each have one balloon, and Evie’s dad has one.

Evie: Thanks, dad.

Li: Thanks.

Biko: Thanks, Mr. Ewan.

Dad: Well then…certainly some interesting stuff on display here, eh?

Panel Three

This is a shot of Biko. I think it’s from Evie’s dad’s POV, so we’re looking down at him, but up to you really. He’s referring to his note book, maybe munching on candyfloss too.

Biko has two balloons.

Biko: Most of these specimens area hundred years old or more. They should really be in museums instead of a sideshow tent.

Biko: But, of course, we haven’t even got to the most fascinating exhibit yet…

Panel Four

This is a big reveal of the star exhibit of the tent. Its going to be in pride of place, up on a plinth, maybe even with some curtains (now parted) which screen it off. It’s a rather moth-eaten looking, life sized (8 foot tall) Bigfoot. It’s half way between a model and a stuffed specimen, but some patches on it look bare, and even as if they’ve been repaired. It’s a fairly frightening looking beast (it might look a bit more like a Gigantopithecus than a Sasquach?), and towers above us. Maybe we’re looking up from a low angle, to increase the towering? One of the creature’s feet is raised slightly, standing on an old, dusty, wooden box, which looks like it’s been put there to replace some missing bit of of the original diorama.

There are two tailless balloons from Biko (the first of which, might be lettered larger than usual for dramatic effect?).

Biko (off): … the Lovelock CaveApe!

Biko (off): Also known as Lovelock’s Bigfoot.

PAGE THREE

This page is part of a spread with Page Two.

This is a six panel page (I think), but I’m going to be a bit looser with the description here so the layout is up to you (ideally mirroring or echoing Page Two in some way).

Panel One

Biko is reading from his notebook and has three balloons.

Biko: Discovered by Frank Lovelock in 1884, in cave in the Black Skull mountains.

Biko: Basically a heap of fur and stuff.

Biko: He thought it was a bear, but there are no bears up there.

Panel Two

This is a close up of part of the Bigfoot figure. Fort the dog is sniffing at it really intently in all these panels, obviously getting more and more excited and interested.

Three balloons from Biko (off panel, maybe tailless).

Biko (off): They did some testing on the fur and the results came back saying it was from an unknown species.

Biko (off): That got people interested.

Biko (off): Newspapers started calling it Lovelock’s Bigfoot.

Panel Three

Not sure if we should cut back to Biko here, or carry on with some shots of the Bigfoot. Up to you.

Biko has three balloons (maybe from off)

Biko: Lovelock was just a hiker and didn’t really know what to do with the remains.

Biko: So, when he was offered a chunk of money for everything he’d found, he took it.

Biko: He sold it all.

Panel Four

Here we can see that Fort is now not just snuffling, but scrabbling at the box which the Bigfoot’s big foot rests on.

Three balloons from Biko (off), and one FX.

Biko: The man who bought it ran a travelling side-show, and he had this model made.

Biko: Only the fur is real, really. But still, it’s pretty cool.

FX: scritch scratch

Biko: Hey! Fort! Stop that!

Panels Five and Six

Okay, so Fort’s scrabbling causes the box to break / cave in, and the Bigfoot model topples forwards  towards the kids and Evie’s dad. We’re just looking for a shot of the looming beast seeming to lunge forwards towards us and possibly a terrified reaction of the group as it does so (maybe the shadow of the monster falling across them?).

One FX from the box breaking, maybe one from the toppling figure, one balloon (from Evie’s dad?).  Feel free to change my FX if you think something else would suit better, they’re a bit placeholder-y as is.

FX: KA-KRACK

FX: kreeeeeaaak

Balloon: LOOK OUT!

And that’s it! We’re officially launched!

New page coming to everyone on patreon this weekend, and then that’ll available to everyone next week!

Thanks for supporting us!

Here we are, page 3! We launch on Saturday on the twitter account monster_macs using the hashtag #MonsterMACS all three pages will go out on Saturday on twitter, and I’ll do a post here to recap with just the completed art! Next week we move on to a regular schedule of one page per week. Though since John has written the entire first chapter, if timing works out right I might end up getting a week or two ahead. The art will be black and white with blue wash, unless there’s a special occasion! 

Hope you like it so far!

Minor kerfulffle as I decide to move from the US format I’d done a bunch of things in (books for dark horse and image) to the US format I used for DC (as per their spec) which means resizing some stuff on page 1. But anyway, neither here nor there. Here’s PAGE 2! 

Going from Colour to Black and white with a spot colour, decided it would be fun to do it as a digital wash, with a blue tone, it feels like an old british comic annual. Anyway, hope you like it! Starts NEXT SATURDAY! When everyone else will get to read it too!

John tells me it’s important Biko’s house backs on to the forest, so he gets a nice house with forest just over the fence, a place where adventure can happen at any moment. I imagine this is at the foot of the mountains somewhere…

This is still the early days of these sketches, there’s a niggling thought at the back of my head that Biko’s house should be a bungelow… we’ll see…

One of the difficulties of doing a weekly strip is making yourself stay consistent, so in order to help with THAT I’ve been drawing maps. Just rough maps of locations we’ll see on the regular (or maybe just the once…) Here’s the Macintosh general area (some names here may change – actually the whole map may change as the stories need arise… take this as a map someone who once visited the area drew but they’ve probably put somethings in the wrong place…)

The whole thing is based on hazy memories of Newcastle in Northern Ireland, imagined locations and the name Black Skull mountains comes from  me seeing the location “Black Skull” in Northern Ireland, which is the name of a tiny village (I leave googling the fascinatingly awful reason it’s called Black Skull as an exercise for the reader…)

The three mountain peaks came about because I wanted mountains on the badge, and … one was the Toblerone logo, two was Twin Peaks and that left three. So three it was.

PAGE ONE

This page is an orphan.

This is a seven-panel page, with three tiers; two panels on the top, three across the middle, and two on the bottom.

Panel One

This is the smaller panel on this tier. Here we’re looking at the grotesque face (probably head and shoulders) of a Fiji Mermaid. Horrible, fanged monkey/fish hybrid. Let’s make sure it has enough hair on (whatever bits of it you like) it to make the reader think the title could refer to it. Maybe it has one hand/claw reaching out towards us. It looks terrifying, but also a bit fake and OTT. Needs to have a tag in the case identifying it as a “Fiji Mermaid (19thcentury)”.

There are two balloons from off-panel.

Balloon 1 (off): It’s horrible!

Balloon 2 (off): Hideous!

Panel Two

Here we’ve spun around so we’re looking out from inside the glass cabinet/case which contains the mermaid. We’re looking past its head/ shoulder out at the kids who are stood in front of it, staring and frowning in amazement, interest, and disgust. Evieis on the left, Li in the middle, Biko on the right. Biko is making notes in a notebook. Fort the dog is licking or eating some candy floss or ice cream from a passing child (unnoticed by them). We can see that they are inside an old fashioned tent – this is kind of a P T Barnum type travelling exhibit (https://cryptozoologymuseum.com/exhibitions/is sort of a good ref, but I’m sure you get the idea)

Li, smiling slightly, has two balloons, there’s one FX from Fortstealing the candy floss, and we have the chapter number and title.

Li: I don’t know…

Li: …I think it’s kind of cool.

FX: SLURP

Chapter One: Something Hairy This Way Comes.

Panel Three

These three middle-tier panels are going to be our introduction to each of the three main characters. So, these are kind of flashback panels (at least they’re not set in the “present”), showing each kid in their natural surroundings. Maybe panels Three, Four, Five, and Six all need to be coloured differently to panels One, Two, and Seven?

This panel shows Li sat in his bedroom at a desk/drawing board. There are classic film monster posters on the wall – The Wolfman, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Zombies, or similar (doesn’t have to be real posters/films, obviously). We can see monster models, a console with cases for zombie fighting games, comics like SCREAM! laying around. Li wearing headphones is furiously sketching a monster (big hairy werewolf, maybe) on a big A3 pad.

There are three captions (maybe in a kind of mock Top Trumps style?).

Cap: Name: Li Wei Leong.

Cap: Expert in: Monster movies, games, and comics.

Cap: Skills: Art, skateboarding, and sarcasm.

Panel Four

Here we have a shot of Evie wearing her scouts uniform, which is absolutely covered in achievement badges. She’s posing with one foot up on a pile of rocks, a heavy stick in one hand which has served on her walking stick on the hike she’s just undertaken. She has a big rucksack on her back, with pans and things hanging from it. She has a pair of binoculars hanging around her neck. Behind her, we can see the green countryside stretching away. It looks like she’s at the top of a hill. Maybe include squirrels, birds, rabbits, etc for extra wildlife/naturalness.

Three captions.

Cap: Name: Evie Ewan.

Cap: Expert in: Campfire stories, local legends, and hidden places.

Cap: Skills: Tracking, camping, and survival.

Panel Five

This is Biko’s introductory panel. He’s in a library (not too modern, but maybe not exactly Victorian either – up to you really), seated at a desk/table. We can see shelves and shelves of books all around him. Biko has a laptop computer open on the desk as well as several books and notebooks, and he looks like he’s researching hard (maybe chewing the end of a pencil as he cross-references. Under the desk (or maybe beside Biko’s chair depending on the angle) we can see Fort the dog dozing.

Three captions.

Cap: Name: Biko Morris.

Cap: Expert in: Cryptozoology, mysteries, and the unexplained.

Cap: Skills: Research, reference, and always making notes.

Panel Six

This panel shows a printed out photograph of the whole gang pinned to a corkboard (in their HQ – which is probably a shed or a tree-house… we’ll get to that). It’s a selfie taken by Li, with the other two squashed in next to him, their arms around each other’s shoulders. Fort is jumping up and licking Biko’s face, so he’s got an awkward/disgusted expression and maybe his glasses are wonky. Also pinned on the corkboard we can Li’s logo which he’s designed and drawn for the group. There might be other photos of the group or individuals, and maybe some newspaper clippings headlined things like MYSTERY OF THE LOST HIKERS, and STRANGE CREATURE SIGHTED, but the main focus is the image of the kids (and dog) and the logo/badge.

Three captions.

Cap: They are the Macintosh Area Cryptozoological Society. M.A.C.S.for short.

Cap: Monster MACS, if you ask Li.

Caps: Because that sounds cooler, and has the word Monster in it.

Panel Seven

Back in the present. This is a shot of the kids turning towards us (away from the mermaid in the case) with a look of shock/surprise as someone shouts at them. Let’s make it extra dramatic as if this is going to be the start of something big. The kids all wide-eyed, but eager as if on the cusp of a new adventure.

Two balloons from off-panel.

Balloon: Hey, MACS!

Balloon: Monster MACS!