A reset

Feel like a reset is in order. I’ve been spending so long in the moment, by which I mean neither keeping track of the work I’ve done nor scheduling it in any meaningful way, simply trying to draw as much as I can when I can. This has lead, I think to burnout (if not total burnout at least early symptoms). No past, no future, only constant never ending present.

Sometimes the work will stop, every line feels wrong or you find yourself battling with the idea of drawing itself.

Iv’e taken a couple of steps. Step one, restart with the pomodoros, this is usually enough to stop my brain thinking I’ve spent hours on half a panel when in fact it’s only been five minutes.

Secondly, I’ve restarted noting what work I’ve done in a diary. I always fall off that, but I need to try not to.

And thirdly, I’ve decided to try and reset back to do doing TWO things per day. Two pages of pencils or two pages of inks. If I can do that without pause it’ll still represent 30 pages (or so) per month. Way ahead of what I need to do.

That’s largely a nominal goal, if I do more, brill. If I do less, that’s fine. But once I hit my goal I’m allowing myself to relax and not worry about any more work for the day. That’s where I’ve really been punishing myself, do more, do more, do more and you never did enough.

In other news, I’ve been regularly walking with my pal Jim Lavery most days for the past few months and then a couple of weeks ago we started couch to 5k together. He’s a lot fitter than me, but I’m now fitter than I was a few weeks ago. Oddly, now we run Mon/Wed/Fri I find myself not going for walks on the days between and that’s not so good. Will try and correct for that.

I dunno if I can guarantee I’ll blog more, I feel like I’ve spent the last twenty years alternating between promising I’ll blog more and apologising for blogging less.

I’ve been off twitter for a while, and there’s a big part of me feeling sort of done with all social media, and actually a lot of online stuff. Thinking more and more about retirement, it’s a good decade plus off, but I never remember it preoccupying my thoughts any where near as much. True to most comic artists, my retirement will likely look less like someone not working and more like someone who will inevitably die at the drawing board. But then, maybe I can keep getting better and better at drawing and – like Hokasai said “When I am 80 you will see real progress”.